Drunk in Love Read online

  I put it all out there and, because of his past, he pushed me away.

  So, we broke up on a busy London street corner.

  Then, there was a wedding.

  His brother was marrying one of my dearest friends. I had to be there. I tried to maintain my distance, but he did something so huge, so major. He said something so life-changing in front of everybody, there was only one thing left to do…

  We made up.

  We moved in together.

  Now, we’re engaged.

  If all of that wasn’t enough to jam pack into a year’s time…well, now there’s this…

  2

  CHAPTER TWO

  Present Day

  “Bugger. Bugger. Bugger!”

  My hands start to tremble as I watch the pee creep over the white box. First one pink line shows up, then a second.

  “I thought these were supposed to take a minute,” I murmur to myself as two pink lines glare back at me. I shakily replace the cap over the pee stick and double-check the instructions. Two lines mean “pregnant,” so this means it’s…positive?

  I put the stick down on the counter and stand to pull up my knickers. I smooth down my black sequined party dress and pause as panic takes over me.

  I’m pregnant.

  We’ve only just got engaged!

  Tonight’s our engagement party.

  This was not a part of the plan.

  As I wash my hands, I glance back at the stick again to be sure my mind isn’t playing tricks on me. There are still two taunting pink lines in the little box. Two glaringly obvious streaks having a laugh at the irony of this situation.

  I stare at myself in the mirror. My blonde curls are perfectly loose. My makeup, light and flawless, my blue eyes bright and vibrant. But for some reason, I look different now. I no longer look like the responsible one. I can barely see the twenty-six-year-old daughter that my father still leans on for support, or the girl who sets an example for her man-whorish brothers. Even though they are all grown men, they still need someone to guide them. To be their rock. Their one constant.

  The person looking back at me with a baby inside of her isn’t the Vi Harris I’ve strived so hard to be.

  And what about Hayden? I couldn’t even believe he proposed to me two weeks ago in the first place. Sure, we’d been living together for a year, but Hayden is…Hayden. It took everything he had just to tell me he loves me. We had a rocky go of it and he spooks so easily. This could mess everything up.

  Twirling on my Louboutin heel, I march over to the large, floor-to-ceiling window in my bathroom and stare out over east London. I shiver as I recall the day that Hayden moved in here with me. We were so happy then, so innocent. Our problems were finally trivial for once.

  3

  CHAPTER THREE

  One Year Earlier

  “These floor-to-ceiling windows won’t do, Bunny.” Hayden harrumphs as he drops a moving box down inside my master bathroom and ruffles his dirty blonde hair.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, crossing my arms and leaning against the door frame. If any other person on the planet called me Bunny, I would cringe. But from Hayden—standing over there all lean and sculpted in worn jeans and a fitted white T-shirt with that smooth, masculine voice that makes my thighs clench—I’ll allow it.

  My eyes shift down to his hands as he adjusts the brown, leather cuffs on his wrists. I suddenly forget about his physical beauty and see the inner beauty that drew me to him in the first place. Hayden wears those cuffs to hide his past from the world, but when he’s with me, he’ll take them off. He’ll expose his scars, let them breathe, give them light…because when we’re together, there is nothing to hide.

  Hayden gestures to the huge, sweeping window beside my large claw-foot bathtub. “I don’t need all of bloody England seeing you naked, Vi. If we’re going to live together, I think I deserve to have you all to myself.” His grey eyes pierce me with a possessive glower that doesn’t intimidate me.

  It excites me.

  “We’re in the tallest building around for miles!” I argue.

  He gives me a hard look. “I don’t care.”

  “It has a reflective exterior,” I add, my breath catching in my throat at the simple lift of his brow.

  “What do you mean?” His voice is different now.

  I bite my lip and then reply, “I mean, England only sees England out there.” I gesture back toward the matching windows in my bedroom behind me. “What we see in here is just for us.” His possessive glower turns into molten lava as he begins striding toward me. “Don’t we have more boxes to bring up?” I nearly pant. God, I’m pathetic. I’m a pathetic, wanton floozy. But, it’s my Hayden. And…he loves me.

  “Stuff the boxes. They can wait,” he murmurs, seizing my mouth with his and anchoring one arm tightly behind my back as he walks me backwards across my bedroom until I’m pressed up against the smooth, cold glass. The contrast of his warm lips working magic against mine is heady. I cry out when his hand squeezes firmly on my arse and he quickly spins me around to look out the window. Oh God, I really hope he…

  Slap.

  That.

  4

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Present Day

  A knock at the bathroom door makes my heart leap into my throat as I’m brought back to the present. I scurry over to the counter and grab the pregnancy test, swiveling my head around frantically for a place to stash it. I decide my cleavage would be safest, so I shove it down the front of my dress and say with a forcibly cool voice, “Who is it?”

  “It’s Booker.”

  I exhale with relief that it’s my youngest brother and not Hayden, or worse, one of my other overbearing, loudmouth, pushy brothers that I just can’t seem to get shot of. Booker and I have a special relationship. An understanding. I can actually talk to him…most days.

  I walk over and open the door.

  Booker’s brow is furrowed. “Hayden sent me in to see what’s taking you so long. He’s just run your mutt, Bruce, downstairs to the neighbour’s flat. He said the guests will be here any minute.”

  “Come in, quickly.” I grab his arm and yank him inside, pressing my back against the closed door. “I really mucked it up this time, Booker.”

  He pulls a face. “You? Vi, you’re perfect. You’re the only perfect one in our mess of a family.”

  I smile at his naivety. Then I want to cry as shame casts over me. I’ve prided myself on setting a good example for all four of my brothers. Since our mum died when we were very young, that left me as the only female in the house. Our dad was busy managing a championship club football team, so I became the parental figure of the household. It wasn’t a choice I made; it was a reflex. I managed their football schedules, acted as their support system, their moral compass, and their voice of reason. Now that they’ve all grown up into professional footballers, it’s my job to ensure they don’t become complete manwhore pigs. That is my job in life. They need me to be the stable one!

  Now I’ve screwed everything up and got it all horribly out of order. I’m a hypocrite. An irresponsible imposter.

  Booker’s face falls when my chin begins to wobble. “Vi, what is it? What have you done?”

  Just when I begin to pull the pregnancy test out from my cleavage, I’m shoved forward by the door and topple over into Booker’s arms.

  “Oi, you bloody twats, you nearly knocked Vi over.” Booker helps right me, and I turn to see our eldest brother, Gareth, towering there with his dark, intimidating glower. Shoving each other playfully behind him are the twins, Camden and Tanner.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Gareth’s deep voice demands as he takes in my face that’s probably starting to turn red and blotchy by now.

  “Nothing!” I quickly reply and force a smile.

  Camden shoves past Gareth and marches right up to me. “It’s not nothing, Vi. What’s happened? Did Hayden call off the engagement?”

  “On the night of your fucking engagement party? I�
��ll kill him!” Tanner shouts and turns to storm out of the doorway only to be fish-hooked under the arm by Gareth.

  “Let’s let Vi tell us what’s going on before we go thump her fiancé.” Gareth turns and, as if on cue, my brothers file in, close the door behind them, and line up next to each other. I could laugh when they all cross their arms over their chests, awaiting my response, but I’m too busy trying not to cry.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” I rasp, clutching my belly and turning away from the Harris Brother Death Stare. “Can I have a moment?”

  “Just tell us, Vi,” Booker adds gently, giving me a soft look that he probably means to be calming, but it only sets me off further.

  “Why can’t I have a moment of peace?” I exclaim. “Why can’t I have one tiny thought to myself? A secret, even! I’m a grown up. Hayden and I are living together. Why do you four think you can just bulldoze your way in here and bark orders?” I place my hands on my hips in a familiar, scolding fashion that I’ve used so frequently throughout our lives.

  “You’re our sister, Vi,” Tanner says, scratching his blonde beard like he’s completely confused that I’d even question this situation. “We want you to be happy. It’s more important than…pretty much anything.”

  I blink and tears slide down my face.

  “That looks like the opposite of happy,” Tanner adds flatly. I burst out with a garbled laugh and quickly swipe at my cheeks.

  “What is it?” Booker asks again.

  “Out with it,” Gareth adds.

  I exhale and decide to stare at the floor while I say it. “I’m pregnant, you sods.”

  I’m met with silence, so I look up to see their reactions.

  Camden’s face looks contorted. “With whose baby?”

  “Hayden’s!” I bellow. “Who else’s would it be?”

  His shoulders drop as he runs a hand through his hair. “Well, fuck! I don’t know. You’re sitting over there crying, so I thought maybe you were up the duff with another bloke’s kid and that’s what’s got you all emotional.”

  “No,” I groan.

  “Then, why are you crying?” Booker asks.

  I turn and drop down onto the edge of the tub with my head in my hands, unable to look at them. “I’m supposed to be setting a good example for you four. You’d all be the biggest sluts in football if I didn’t thump you from time to time. Now I’m over here being a hypocrite and getting things horribly out of order. This isn’t the way things are supposed to be.”

  “Vi,” they all reply in unison.

  I look up when Gareth approaches me. He’s got his big brother face on again. The one that almost always makes me cry. His dark-rimmed hazel eyes pierce through me with so much emotion, I feel my knees begin to tremble.

  He sits down beside me. “We weren’t supposed to lose our mum before you guys started primary school, either…but we did.” The entire room freezes. Gareth spent the most time with Mum at the end, but he rarely talks about her. “Life is full of things that aren’t supposed to be, Vi. We weren’t supposed to watch Dad spiral into a deep depression for years after Mum passed, but we did. I wasn’t supposed to sign with Dad’s old team, Man U, but I did. If things happened the way they were supposed to, life would be pretty boring. Doesn’t mean it can’t all turn out great in the end.”

  “Just look at how great the two of us are,” Tanner adds, throwing his arm around Camden that ripple effects into Cam shoving Tanner into Booker. An amused glint in all of their eyes as they playfully shove each other brings a genuine smile to my face, and even to Mr. Serious, Gareth, himself.

  “Yeah, you guys aren’t horrible, I guess,” I reply and Gareth nudges me with his shoulder.

  “I know you’re going to make a wonderful mum,” he says softly.

  My happy smile falters. “How?”

  “Because you were wonderful to all of us.”

  “I’m going to puke,” Tanner bellows, smashing the moment to smithereens. “This is way too much emotion. I survived for about two minutes, but I’ve reached my quota. Can I leave? There’s a guest out there with my name on her.” I roll my eyes and he adds, “No, literally, she has the name Tanner tattooed on her wrist…It has to be destiny.”

  Camden shoves Tanner out the door, and Booker comes over to give me a hug. He whispers “congratulations” before following in the twins’ wake.

  “Can I give you one piece of advice?” Gareth adds from the doorway while I stand by the sink touching up my makeup. “Tell Hayden tonight. I have a feeling it’ll only make this evening all the more special for you.”

  He shoots me a wink and departs, leaving me all alone with the nerves swirling in my belly. I have just the perfect time in mind.

  5

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I feel a moment of guilt when I stride out of my bedroom to see that the party is in full swing already. I say my hellos to some friends from work and accept their hugs of congratulations, but I can feel Hayden’s eyes on me the entire time. It’s like a warm heat blowing against my skin. I look over my shoulder and we connect eyes instantly. He tries to have a silent conversation with me from across the room, but my father is doing his best to keep Hayden’s attention focused on him. Our eye contact breaks when the lift dings and I look over to see Frank, Theo, Leslie, and a newly-walking baby Marisa come striding in.

  Hayden’s brother, Theo, and my friend and co-worker at Nikon, Leslie, have been married for over a year now. It was an emotional event for me as Hayden and I had just broken up. I was doing my best to put on a brave front, but when Hayden cornered me in a wine cellar and kissed me like he thought he’d die without it, I didn’t think I’d have the strength to walk away. But I did.

  And then he took the mic and everything changed. Now, Theo and Leslie’s wedding is one of our favourite memories.

  “Vi!” Leslie shouts from across the room and lets go of Marisa’s hand to run over to me. Her auburn hair accents her yellow jumpsuit perfectly—a look only an artist like Leslie could pull off. Dating brothers has really brought us closer, and I’m chuffed at the idea of calling her my sister. “You look gorgeous! You’re practically glowing!”

  “Thanks, you too!” My eyes drop when I see Theo and Marisa walking slowly over to us. I instantly crouch down as Marisa comes clumsily running into my arms. She’s a little over one now. Leslie and Theo had her before they got married. She was the most beautiful little focal point in Leslie’s arms during the entire ceremony. I hug her to my chest, wondering if Hayden and I will be welcoming a baby before our wedding, too.

  She begins babbling something in my ear, so I pull back to look into her gorgeous green eyes.

  “You want to see Uncle Hay?” I ask and her smile grows.

  “Right behind you, Squirt.” I look up from my crouched position with her to see Hayden smiling down at us. The crinkles in his eyes are utter perfection as he scoops Marisa up off the floor and begins buzzing her cheeks with his lips to her gleeful delight.

  He looks every bit the image of hot daddy perfection. Smart, grey suit, perfectly styled blonde locks, and grey eyes that exude complete love and adoration. Hayden and Marisa’s relationship has always been special. After all, Marisa is named after the sibling of Theo and Hayden, who passed away many years ago. Hayden was living with Theo and Leslie when baby Marisa was born, and she had such horrible colic, Hayden was often the only one who knew how to soothe her. Watching him hold her now, my hands develop a mind of their own and I find myself clutching my small belly. There’s not even physical evidence of the pregnancy yet, but I feel it. I feel this baby inside of me. And I feel it when I watch him. It’s an amazing sensation to have something bigger than me happening right here.

  Hayden’s smile falls as he looks at me. “Bunny, what is it? What’s the matter?”

  It’s only then that I realise tears are falling down my face. “Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just…I’m just…”

  Hayden passes Marisa over to Theo and cups my face in his
hands. “What’s going on? And don’t tell me it’s nothing. All four of your brothers are looking at me like they want to hug me or kill me…which isn’t that unusual. But on a night like tonight, it seems off-putting.”

  I feel everyone’s eyes on me when I look to Hayden with a wobbly smile. “I have something to tell you.”

  “What is it?” He strokes his fingers down my cheeks and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

  I glance over at the clock. “Not yet. It’s too early. I’ll tell you soon, though. I promise.”

  “Bunny,” he mock scolds.

  I lick my lips and grab his lapels, yanking him down to my mouth and kissing him with all the goodness I feel inside of me as an act of reassurance. He responds in earnest, his hands letting go of my face as he wraps his arms around me and crushes me against his body.

  “If this is what you have to tell me, perhaps we should go to the roof,” he murmurs against my lips. “I’d be all yours up there.”

  “Meet me up there at eleven,” I rasp, my voice betraying my level of control. “No matter who you’re talking to, break away and meet me up there.”

  He smiles. “Anything for you, Bunny.”

  The rest of the night is a blur of engagement congratulations, happy hugs, bubbling cocktails, and one hilarious ginger entertaining us all.

  “All right you footie boys, listen up.” I have to cover my mouth as Leslie’s former flatmate, Frank, stands in front of my four brothers and addresses them with all the flourishes that make Frank, Frank.

  “My name is Frank McElroy. Not Frankenstein, not Carrot Top, not Cock Block, and most definitely not Frank and Beans.” Frank pauses to shoot Leslie and her friend Finley a menacing glower. “You boys are beautiful and so are Finny and Lezzie, so it’s not your fault you listened to them. You were likely thinking with the wrong heads.” He pauses to point down at their groins and they all shift uncomfortably. “So, I’ll let it pass this time. But if you fuck with me again, I’ll have to show you how a real man scores a goal.”