Love Under the Mistletoe Read online

I watched curiously as Sean went to speak several times, only to close his mouth on each occasion and then frown as if something was bothering him. ‘I’ll let you get some food,’ he said finally, which made me close my eyes in disappointment, ‘Use the house as you like, you don’t need to hide away,’ he added as he turned and left. I had hoped he would let his guard down a little, but no, whatever it was that was keeping him closed off was still bothering him and I had been used again. Although technically I knew that wasn’t true, I had been a willing partner, more than willing, and had no one to blame but myself, I knew what he was like and I had still allowed myself to go along with it. One thing was for sure, I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

  Sean turned and left the kitchen without another word and as I watched his tense shoulders retreat down the corridor I saw his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. A warm feeling on my thigh made me glance away from him awkwardly. Even with the condom I was still ridiculously wet down below, a sensation that only added to my shame and feeling of overall embarrassment. Breathing out a sigh that was almost a sob I turned and gripped the counter. I was such an idiot. Even with some exceptionally enjoyable kitchen sex nothing had changed, except he seemed even more distant than before and I felt even more shamed about my behaviour.

  Chapter Five

  Christmas Eve morning was finally here, and with it came more sodding snow. Seeing the thick white flakes still falling I cursed loudly before deciding not to hide in my room anymore. I was sick of these four walls now, and technically I’d done nothing wrong, except for get a little carried away in the heat of the moment last night perhaps. God, I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of this place and away from Sean and the crazy reactions he caused in my body.

  My morning coffee was interrupted by the kitchen door slamming open as Sean trailed in from the hallway, casting a dark glance as me but not speaking. ‘You’re in a dazzling mood I see,’ I muttered, more to myself than him, but in response I got a glare as he poured himself a giant cup of coffee and took a long swig.

  ‘I’m not really a morning person,’ he mumbled moodily.

  ‘No kidding,’ I replied lightly, only just managing to bite back the sarcastic comments that flew to my mind. He obviously wasn’t going to talk about what had happened last night, so I decided it was probably advisable to get away from Sean and his temperamental moods. Picked up my cup I wandered into the lounge without another word.

  He obviously wasn’t a Christmas person either, I thought sourly, looking around the undecorated house. There wasn’t a bauble or string of tinsel in sight, it was truly depressing. If I was where I should be today, my mum’s house, we’d all be gathered around the dining table now with a Christmas tree twinkling beside us and our traditional Christmas Eve breakfast of baked ham and toast waiting for us.

  The unhappy sigh that escaped me was long and drawn out, so in the end I contented myself by looking through Sean’s extensive DVD collection to find something to help my day pass. Seeing as it was Christmas Day tomorrow I wondered if I could get into the spirt with a nice Christmas film – not that I really expected him to own any. From his domineering personality I had thought Sean would be an action movie fan, or perhaps into gory horrors, but as I looked across the titles I was actually quite impressed by the range of genres he had. All alphabetically ordered too.

  Picking boxes out at random to inspect the covers, I carefully inserted them back in the same spots I’d found them – no point giving him something else to get moody about. One caught my eye and I re-examined the cover to see what had taken my interest. Shooting Point, a recent Hollywood blockbuster. It was released last year, but I never got round to watching it, but as I gazed at the glossy cover my eyes widened in shock as something suddenly dawned on me that had me slapping my forehead loudly. What a bloody idiot!

  ‘I wouldn’t bother with that one, it’s not one of my best,’ drawled a voice from the back of the room causing me to spin around and see Sean leaning on the wall watching me with vague amusement in his eyes.

  My cheeks were burning now and my heart was pounding under my skin making my body feel decidedly unsteady, ‘I can’t believe I didn’t recognise you…’ My eyes flicked back to the DVD box again. ‘You’re Sean Phillips … as in the Sean Phillips,’ I said waving the DVD case with his face plastered all over the cover. My shock was muted slightly when the realisation that I had slept with Sean Phillips, movie star and all round Hollywood heartthrob suddenly occurred to me. I had to try my hardest not to grin broadly. He was a poster pin-up, women everywhere wanted him, and I’d slept with him, twice. Seeing him in his house and out of context I just hadn’t made the connection, but as I gazed at his handsome face again it was now screamingly obvious who he was.

  ‘It was actually quite refreshing that you didn’t know me,’ he said quietly, watching me carefully as I turned back to him fully. ‘You weren’t judgemental about me.’ A hint of a smile tweaked on his lips but was gone almost too soon to register and I realised it was the happiest I’d seen him … apart from when he was doing ridiculously naughty things to me of course, then I had seen him smile wickedly several times.

  Sean pushed away from the wall and closed the distance between us in five large, leisurely steps and I held my breath, unsure what to expect and clutching the DVD box to my chest as if my life depended on it. He stopped just in front of me, so close that when I finally drew in a breath I could smell his delicious aftershave as he looked down at me intently. His gaze burned into me, almost as if daring me to say something, but I couldn’t speak, I was too busy trying not to tremble from the arousal flooding my system and thumping between my legs.

  Much like last night, Sean parted his lips as if he were going to say something, before promptly snapping it shut again. Closing his eyes for a second he rolled his lips between his teeth as he seemed to be weighing something up in his head before he released a long sigh then reached around me, brushing against my shoulder and causing me to draw in a small gasp.

  ‘Try this one, it was bigger-budget, more exciting,’ Sean said blandly, holding out a DVD that he had just plucked from the shelf. I took it from him as disappointment seared through me, even though I knew I shouldn’t want it, I had hoped he was going to touch me again, kiss me maybe, but instead I had been handed a bloody DVD.

  ‘Thanks,’ I murmured, but Sean had already turned and was leaving the room.

  While I watched Sean in all his sexy, action-hero, widescreen glory, I did some research on the Internet. I knew the basics; he had become famous while still young but more recently had made it to the big time playing the role in a series of big budget action films. But what I really wanted to know about was his temperament, was he a miserable sod all the time, or just when I was around?

  The next hour didn’t make comfortable reading. Sean had a reputation in Hollywood of being moody and unpredictable, with a fiery temper and tendency to lock himself away as a virtual recluse when not filming. Most of the gossip pages I read also thought him to be quite a bad boy while filming on location, with rumours that he’d bedded many, if not all, of his leading ladies and left a trail of broken hearts behind him. Grimacing at this sordid news I looked to the screen where Sean’s handsome face was intently concentrating on defusing a bomb and realised that I was no different to the other women in his life, he had used me for sex as he had all of them, plain and simple.

  Sighing, I closed down the celebrity pages and went back to my initial search results, and a link that had caught my eye to an earlier story about Sean, written back in the days when he was less well known. His girlfriend at the time had been Elena Bortsova, a stunning young Russian model. Apparently they had been on holiday together in Greece when she’d been in a horrific accident while out snorkelling. She had been caught by the boat’s propeller and killed instantly. According to the article Sean never forgave himself for not going on the snorkelling trip that day and hasn’t officially ‘dated’ anyone since.

  Biting
my lip I sat back and frowned. If he had loved Elena and she had died so tragically and suddenly it would certainly go a long way to explaining why he was always so miserable I suppose. Perhaps his reluctance to forgive himself also explained his casual attitude to the women he supposedly bedded too.

  Taking a break from my search I placed the laptop on the coffee table and sat back to watch the end of the film. It was really good, action packed with a great storyline, but I found I couldn’t enjoy it, not when I was trying to work out the reasons behind Sean’s dark moods. At the exact time the credits began to roll Sean entered the room again and loitered by the large windows, watching the snow fall. I looked up in surprise at his near perfect timing and wondered if he had secretly been watching me and waiting for the film to finish.

  Standing up, I offered him a polite smile as I made my way to the kitchen to get a refill of my water. He might be a movie star, but I had now decided that I wasn’t going to speak to him unless he started a conversation, quite frankly I’d had had enough of his cold shoulder and bizarre mood swings over the past few days.

  Before I could get to the kitchen however, he stepped in front of me, blocking my path and capturing my gaze with his intense blue eyes. ‘Did you enjoy the film?’ he asked, tipping his chin towards the TV as one hand gently reached up to stroke some stray hair back from my face.

  At his touch I simultaneously felt like yelling at him, throwing myself at him, and melting. Physical contact from this man really was going to be the death of me, but I did my best to rein in my rampaging libido and try to look unaffected as I took a marginal step backwards but failed to dislodge his hand. ‘The film was fine,’ I said blandly, trying to ignore the way his fingers had lingered on my cheek and felt as if they were searing a brand into my skin. I shook my head and let out a heavy sigh, ‘I’m getting a headache trying to keep up with your mood swings, Sean. One minute you can’t stand me, the next you’re all over me, I feel like my head is going to explode.’

  After a brief pause where he stared at me intently, his lips twitched in vague amusement, ‘Am I keeping you on your toes?’ he murmured. But his comment made me wild. How dare he play with my emotions like this? Finally getting my courage up I shoved past him into the kitchen.

  ‘You’re an arsehole, Sean,’ I whispered shaking my head.

  Standing at the sink I took a few shaky sips of water until I felt more controlled. I’d managed to walk away from him once so I could do it again if needs be. Deciding to get my laptop and retreat to my room I walked back into the lounge where Sean was now stood beside the sofa. His eyes flashed to mine before glancing back at the screen of my laptop again before he sighed and sank onto the soft leather.

  ‘You’re right, I am an arsehole.’ He dropped his head into his hands and rubbed at his face and I was shocked to see him virtually crumple before me. This wasn’t how I’d expected things to proceed at all. Unsure of how to respond I stayed at the bar and rested myself on one of the barstools, watching him carefully. ‘You don’t even know the half of it,’ he said, indicating to the laptop screen where I realised to my horror that my search about Sean’s relationship with Elena was still showing. Shit, shit, shit!

  Cringing at being caught in my blatant snooping I tried and failed to think of an excuse. ‘I … um … I didn’t mean to pry… I was just curious about you and that came up, I’m sorry.’ I stumbled over my words, mortified to be caught looking into his private life like some stalker fan girl.

  ‘Not as sorry as I am.’ He looked across at me, a heavy silence hanging between us. ‘I don’t know what it is about you, Allie, I barely know you … but you make me want things I haven’t allowed myself for a very long time.’ My heart fluttered with hope briefly before it crashed back to earth as I realised that he had probably used that line of countless women before me.

  ‘Oh really?’ I said dryly, raising an eyebrow and refusing to let myself fall for his smooth lines. Seeing my casual brush-off Sean stood and walked towards me until he was right before me. What was it with him and ignoring the usual etiquette of personal space? Could it be that he felt the odd magnetism between us too? Once again, his presence so close set my heart pounding and I drew in a shaky breath, desperately trying to cling to the last threads of my composure and not throw myself at him like I wanted to.

  ‘I can see why you wouldn’t believe me …’ Sighing, he shook his head as a torrent of emotions seemed to play across his troubled face. ‘It’s so difficult for me to explain.’

  He stared at me for what seemed like an eternity before leaning in to place his lips softly on mine. Warmth flooded my system at his tenderness and I was about to give in to his gentle, seductive kiss when the rational part of my mind kicked in and reminded me about his string of ex-lovers and the broken hearts he had stomped on. I might have allowed myself to sleep with him last night when I was clueless about his identity, but now I knew about his past I wouldn’t be so stupid.

  ‘Is this the only way you can communicate with people? Through a quick fuck?’ I accused, standing my ground and straightening my back.

  His face darkened and his eyes narrowed at my use of the crude term. ‘A quick fuck?’

  I strongly suspected I’d be helpless to resist his charms if Sean chose to kiss me again, so I hoped my bluntness might help protect my heart by deterring him. ‘I read about you and your broken hearted co-stars, Sean, and seeing as you disappeared straight after we’d done the deed last night it’s fairly clear that that’s all I was to you too,’ I said brusquely, but his intense look was making me start to falter in my words.

  Crossing his arms he stared down at me looking far more intimidating than I’d thought he could, but then before my eyes his features briefly crumpled. ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about. There are things you don’t understand …’ he muttered, but then shaking his head forcefully he obviously decided he’d had enough of that topic because his troubled expression was replaced with a smirk. ‘Besides, you enjoyed it just as much as I did, Allie.’

  Unable to lie out loud, I shook my head instead, knowing my denial wouldn’t pass for one minute if he had any vague idea about reading body language, because clearly even now I was sat here fully aroused just by his mere presence in the room.

  Reaching over he tipped my chin up and held it between his finger and thumb as he lowered his parted lips to mine again, but this time they were filled with a hungry, possessive desire that sent a rush of heat straight between my legs and had me instantly craving more even as I tried to keep my mouth firmly shut. ‘You don’t want this?’ he asked huskily as his lips teased and nipped mine.

  Drawing in several ragged breaths I weakly shook my head within his grip. I made a feeble attempt to move away from Sean and the magnetic pull he had on me, but the bar stool was blocking my backwards path and Sean’s free hand was gripping at my hip, holding me firmly in place.

  Lowering his face so our noses were touching he moved a hand to my breast and casually rubbed the pad of his thumb across the peak as I squirmed pathetically trying to look like I was resisting, but really I was loving every second of it. ‘You’re not enjoying this?’

  Oh God, yes! I’m loving it! I want it! I wanted to cry, but instead I forced a stubborn shake of my head as a gasp flew from my lips. My nipple sprung to attention under his touch, and even as I was shaking my head I felt my body marginally arching towards him.

  With his eyes still locked with mine his hand slipped between my legs and pressed firmly against my core through the cotton of my leggings. ‘I’ll stop if you want me to. Do you want me to stop, Allie?’ he asked breathily, as he rubbed his hand slowly against the throbbing flesh which was so wet it was bound to start soaking through my clothing at any moment. I knew I shouldn’t respond, but I just couldn’t help myself, not when it felt this good, and I finally gave in. ‘Oh God … no … please don’t stop.’

  Sean let out a low chuckle that mixed with a grunt of approval. ‘I don’t usually use dirt
y talk but seeing as you started it, Allie, I’ll have a go … tell me you want me, how did you describe it? A quick fuck? Say you want it, Allie, tell me.’ He was teasing me, using my own crude words against me, at the same time encouraging me by kissing behind my ear making me shudder with pleasure and lean myself into his touch.

  ‘I want you,’ I whispered longingly, my hands now unashamedly roving over his hard body.

  ‘No, say it, Allie. Like you did before.’ I knew what he meant, but I was so unused to using swear words let alone dirty talk during sex that my face flushed from the very thought of it. God I was really regretting yelling the accusation at him earlier.

  ‘Oh God, I want you to …’ I tried again but the words just wouldn’t come.

  ‘Say it, Allie, come on.’ His hips thrust against me and I groaned as I felt the hard warmth of his erection pressing against my abdomen. Crikey, I wanted this man so much it hurt.

  Swallowing back my nerves I buried my face in his neck and finally whispered the words he wanted to hear, ‘I want you to fuck me, Sean …’ In response his hands gripped me tighter in keenness, making me feel her braver. ‘Fuck me better than any man ever has …’ I added hoarsely.

  Sean let out a primitive growl at my challenge as his lips suddenly claimed mine in a fiercely possessive kiss. His tongue delved into my mouth, well and truly dominating mine as his hands roamed around my clothing, skilfully loosening and removing as he went.

  Before I knew it, I was topless on the barstool with my leggings and knickers dangling from one foot and a very naked, very aroused Sean standing pressed between my spread thighs. He was clad in nothing but a condom and immediately continued to kiss me and caress my exposed flesh almost lovingly.

  ‘Conveniently this bar stool appears to be the perfect height …’ he murmured against my lips as his hands settled on my bottom and began to massage the flesh, making my clit pulse needily. I was about to ask what the stool was the perfect height for, but then I found out as he gripped my buttocks harder and pulled me forwards onto his waiting cock. I let out a cry of surprise at his sudden movement, but the sound mingled in my throat into one of lusty desire as Sean ground himself against my little bundle of nerves that had been so desperate for attention.