Pink Shades of Words: Walk 2016 Read online

  Matt nods at him with understanding.

  “My manager always spun it like I was some crazy recluse fucker, but the reason I’ve hardly performed over the years is I was just too damn drunk.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say softly.

  “Not half as much as I am. So has it really been twenty years for you two? I’d never guess watching you together that it’s been that long since you’ve seen each other. What happened?”

  I feel the heat run up my neck, certain that my cheeks are bright pink.

  He gives me a nod. “Come on now, darling ... I’m a curious, crazy artist. This sounds like a story worth telling.”

  I can’t believe that he’s even talking to us let alone having this conversation. I’ve always heard Alec is eccentric, but his interest in us is surprising. What about the people waiting for him on the other side of the room?

  “Oh you know what it’s like when you’re young,” Matt offers graciously.

  “And fucking stupid ...” Alec adds.

  I straighten my spine and jut my chin up. “It was back when we were college. He was my everything and then ... I betrayed him. It’s my fault.”

  “I see,” Alec says. “The lady owns it. And have you apologized? Do you regret it?”

  “Yes I have, and I regret what I did with every fiber of my being,” I respond.

  Alec tips his bottle toward Matt. “So have you forgiven her?”

  Matt just looks at him, his eyes suddenly dark and stormy.

  “Well, get on with it mate. You only have tonight to make this right. So hurry the hell up. This may be your only chance.” He looks in the mirror, his gaze heavy with regret, before shaking his head. “I’d give anything to have that chance with my one love, the one I let slip through my fingers.”

  Matt gives me a long look before looking back at Alec. “Okay, I’ll get on with it,” he says, jamming his hands inside his pockets.

  “Good. I sure as hell wouldn’t let this one go.” He turns and winks at me. “Now you’ll have to excuse me, I’ve got people waiting.”

  I smile at him. “Thank you Alec. You were so amazing tonight. Can I give you a hug?”

  “Sure thing, sweetheart,” he says with a charismatic grin.

  He tops off my hug with a soft kiss on my cheek. “Be good to him,” he whispers.

  “I will,” I whisper back.

  Matt shakes his hand. “Checked off the bucket list. Thanks man.”

  Alec shakes his head and grumbles. “Bucket list? My fans are getting too damn old.” He gives us a wink, and then heads over to the group.

  This time I take Matt’s hand and squeeze it as he leads us out into the hall.

  “Wow,” I whisper as we walk through the dim, deserted hallway.

  We’re five or so paces from the closed door when he stops and turns toward me. “Did you like that?”

  “Like it? I’m just wondering how this evening became so magical. Nothing can ever top this.”

  “Nothing?” he asks as his gaze rests on my lips and then moves up to my eyes.

  He looks like he wants to say something, or maybe he just wants...

  His hand moves up until his fingers graze my cheek. I sigh and lean into his touch. He then slides his hand down my throat until he can loop his fingers along the nape of my neck.

  Let’s pretend ...

  I inhale a deep breath as I take in both his warm smile and gaze that’s melting me, one sheer layer of restraint at a time. I step back against the wall and his body mirrors mine as he leans in close enough so I’m aware of his breath heating my skin. I’d forgotten how perfect his lips were until they skim mine.

  “Angie,” he whispers.

  I close my eyes. “Yes.”

  Please, please, please, my heart echoes with every beat.

  He kisses me. Oh yes, he does. And it’s one of those kisses that momentarily renders everything outside his embrace meaningless. I sway into him, kissing him back, not so carefully, but with a hope and a prayer guiding me. He accepts the invitation and his next kiss is leading man material, perfectly perfect in every way.

  When we part he leans his forehead against mine. “Come up to my room. I’ve got a suite next door. Just for a drink, I swear. But I need more time with you.”

  I give him a long look, my head tipped as I try to read him.

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  “Okay?” he echoes like my response hadn’t convinced him.

  “Yes, I’ll come up to your suite but honestly I want more kisses, not just a drink. I may covet redemption, but I desire being with you, even more. I may never have this chance again.” I reach up and loop my arms around his neck.

  The way he looks at me, his hungry gaze dropping down to my cleavage and lingering before trailing back up my neck, across my cheeks, and meeting my gaze, reveals his desire in a pure, visceral way.

  It also makes me want his hands on me. I want too much, I know it. But I can’t help it. As Alec said, how much time do we really have?

  I feel his fingers wind through my hair. “What if I told you that I forgive you?” he asks.

  I let out a long sigh, curving my body toward his. “You’d set me free.”

  His eyebrows knit together. “But being free ...”

  I shake my head sternly, casting away his doubt. “... being free would bring me back to you.”

  “Jesus, Angie,” he says with a strangled voice before he kisses me again even more passionately, and then when we part he pulls me forward, until we’re quickly walking down the hall toward the glowing green exit sign.

  The elevator at the Ace Hotel is imposing. Maybe it’s just my breathless anticipation but I focus on restraint when all I want to do is melt against this handsome, spontaneous man as we ride up to the penthouse.

  He leans against the opposite wall, his laser focus on the floor numbers climbing as we ride ... 4, 5, 6, ...

  “Are you okay?” I ask, worried about the tension etched across his face.

  “Let me ask you, could this damn elevator be any slower?”

  I smile inwardly and join his gaze on the light above the elevator doors that indicates that we’ve got several floors still to go. “If you weren’t staying in the fancy penthouse we’d be there already,” I tease.

  He arcs a brow at me. “Hmmm.”

  When the door finally slowly opens I step out. He leads me to the double door of his suite, and pulls out his key card. “Here we are.”

  My heart flutters as he opens the door. The penthouse is all low light, modern sleek furniture, and huge windows framing spectacular city lights. It’s downright sexy.

  “Wow,” I whisper. “You got this just for you?”

  He shrugs. “I travel on business a lot. I like to be comfortable.”

  “Really? It’s just about being comfortable?”

  “You thought I got this suite on the chance that I’d see you again, and somehow you’d join me up here?”

  “Maybe,” I tease.

  “What if you’re right? Sometimes you have to create the dream, Angie, so it has a chance to come true.”

  My breath hitches, and I focus on steading myself from the avalanche of emotion that just hit me. Was Matt always this amazing? I look at him as he busies himself, pulling his phone and wallet out of his jacket and setting them on the side table. I clear my throat searching for my voice. “So where’s that drink you lured me up here with?”

  He walks over to the bar. “What’s your pleasure, wine or vodka? I have cranberry juice.”

  I smile, impressed that he remembers my drink of choice all those years ago. “Red wine if you have it.”

  While he uncorks the bottle I open the door to the wide terrace and step outside. He joins me, and hands me my glass of wine, then takes a sip of the amber drink in his short glass.

  “You drink whiskey now?”

  He nods. “And wine too ... and beer, but this occasion calls for really good whiskey.”

  I hold my glass up toward
his, and gently clink them together. “A toast ...”

  “To what?” he asks, his glass suspended in the air.

  “To old friends?”

  He purses his lips. “Oh hell, you can do better than that.”

  I chew on my bottom lip as I think. “To you? To us? The past, the future? To pretending? Take your pick.”

  He tsks out loud. “And to think you’re the writer. How about to tonight?”

  “Yes,” I agree with a smile. “Magical, exciting, promising ... tonight.”’

  We turn to face as the sweeping view as we sip our drinks.

  “So where are you living now?” he asks.

  “I have a small Spanish bungalow up in Beachwood Canyon. It’s got a crazy amount of character and a little garden and patio carved into the hillside. That’s where I do a lot of my writing. I love it up there.”

  “Sounds nice.”

  “How about you? Are you in the city? I remember us once playing let’s pretend we’re in San Francisco.”

  He grins. “Yeah, I have a condo in Nob Hill. I travel too much to maintain a house.”

  “I love San Francisco. I have some good friends there, so I go pretty often. If you’re nice, I’ll give you a call next time I’m in town,” I tease.

  He takes my arm and pulls me to him. “Is that so? I think you should come just to visit me.”

  “Greedy,” I whisper.

  He narrows his eyes. “Is one of your ‘friends’ a man?”

  I nod. “Yes.”

  He bristles. “Are you involved?”

  “Not like that. He’s gay.” I run my fingertip down his lapel. “What about your lady friend in L.A.? The one whose seat I took?”

  “Kathleen? She’s good company, but no, nothing serious.”

  He’s gazing at me so intently that I look away flustered. He cups my chin in his hand and turns my head slowly so that our gazes lock again. “Hey, what are you thinking?” he whispers. I wonder if he can sense how hard my heart is beating just being close to him.

  I run my hand up my fevered neck. “This is just a lot ... I’m feeling so much right now.”

  He sets his drink on the wide ledge and takes my glass out of my hand and does the same, then places his hands on my shoulders to steady me. “It’s okay, it’s just me.”

  “There’s nothing ‘just’ about you, Matt. You’re pretty incredible.”

  He shrugs. “Well good then, that’s what I’ve aspired to be.”

  I step toward him. “Can I?”

  He nods, his gaze intent. I can’t tell if he’s breathing or not.

  I gently run my fingertips across his cheeks and up into his hair, pulling my fingers across his scalp to draw him near. I take my time inching us closer, feeling his heat, his want. When our lips touch I pour every bit of my pent up emotion into my kiss.

  He welcomes my passion and amps it up by pulling me tightly into his arms. My breasts are pressed against his firm chest, his large hand moves down my back until he pauses just above my ass, and pulls me firmly against him. All of him. I sigh with pleasure.

  With each kiss, each caress I realize how much I’ve missed his touch and the way he made me feel. But his embrace also feels so new. How can you miss the parts of him you haven’t yet experienced? ...because somehow I do.

  “This is crazy,” I say with wide eyes when we finally pull apart to catch a breath.

  “So what,” he replies lightly scraping his teeth up my neck. “It’s crazy good.” This time when he kisses me he reaches between us and firmly cups my breast. When I let out a low moan, he silences me with a deeper kiss.

  “That kiss didn’t feel like it was pretend,” I say as I run my hands across his broad shoulders and muscular arms.

  “It wasn’t,” he agrees. “I want you Angie ... I need this.” He presses his hips against me as if there was any question how turned on he is.

  “I do too,” I whisper. My hand slips down low where he’s straining against his slacks. I tighten my fingers over him, slowly grasping my way up his length. I’m half blind with lust but I still can’t shake my worry. “You won’t regret this?”

  His fingers are pinching my nipple just so and I almost cry from the pleasure and subtle shadow of pain.

  “No. I knew it would be this intense. It’s what I’ve wanted all along.”

  “To fuck me?” I whisper in a hungry voice as my fingers tighten over him.

  His eyes widen as he rocks his hip against me. “To be with you and yes, to fuck you, to love you ... all of it. Let’s go to bed so I can show you how I truly feel.”

  I nod and take his hand, following his lead back inside. As we approach the bed I think of the things I know for sure.

  I love him.

  I need him inside of me to know this is real.

  I trust him, and because I do, tonight I belong to him.

  He steps up behind me and gently pushes my hair to one side leaving my neck bare for his embrace. His lips first press just behind my ear and then he kisses me slowly down my neck. I’m trembling, overcome by his touch. His fingers trace my shoulder and then push the strap down to my arm so that his lips can continue their passionate trail across my bare skin.

  My breath is ragged by the time he turns me to face him. Our gazes lock with equal intensity.

  “Okay?” he asks.

  I nod, reaching up and resting my hands on his chest, the fine fabric of his dress shirt like silk under my fingers.

  “I won’t be pretending, Angie,” he warns me as I start to undo his buttons.

  When I get to the bottom I pull his shirttails free. “I won’t be pretending either.”

  I reach back and unzip my dress, ease it down and let it fall to the floor. I’m bare now except for my fine lingerie that I’m grateful to have worn.

  His gaze moves over me. “Still so beautiful,” he murmurs.

  He lets me open his shirt and slide it off as I kiss him in the crook of his neck and across his collarbone. His skin flushes every place I touch him and it makes me smile with satisfaction. I reach down and undo his belt and his slacks as he watches me intently.

  This is so different than our first time years ago when we fumbled and squirmed. We’re both experienced lovers now, confident and sure of what we like. What I like is his groan when I reach inside his boxers and stroke him.

  “Mmm, yes,” I moan as he pushes what’s left of his clothing off and pulls me onto the bed.

  Finally stretched across the sheets, we take our time kissing and touching each other, his hands removing my lingerie and exploring me like a map he’s traveled before and has finally returned home to.

  “Matt,” I whisper when he takes my nipple into the warmth of his mouth. As he sucks and teases, I push my fingers into his thick hair and pull him closer. No man has ever touched me the way he does, with reverence like I’m precious, even still, after all these years.

  But knowing this may be our only night together, I focus back on him, determined to make sure this is a night he’ll never forget. I settle between his legs, licking my way up his thighs and along his cock as he moans. He tenderly runs his fingers through my hair as I roll my tongue over him, moaning around his hardness. Inspired, I suck him deeper and he shudders, his fingers digging into my shoulders while I test his restraint. As I pleasure him I recall how easy it was to make him happy, not just in bed, but in life. He was my bright light and I was his. Tonight the rightness of us holding each other once more, makes us shine.

  He stops me before he loses control completely, and I pout as he pulls me into his arms. “But I wanted...” I start.

  “Hush,” he says. “I’m coming inside you.” He then takes his time kissing me hard and soft, kissing me senseless, while sliding his fingers between my legs and teasing my breasts as I beg for more.

  He rises up on his knees, gazing at me, burning hot as he parts my legs wide and rolls on a condom. “I’ve dreamt of this,” he whispers against my cheek.

  “Oh God, me too
,” I whisper back, arching my back and hips to say “Yes, yes.” He pushes into me slowly, the delicious tension pulling me right to my edge. Once he’s fully inside of me I groan, reveling in how perfect he feels, yet aching for how much I’ve missed this. How he is the only one that ever made me feel this full, this completely loved.

  This is our beginning, and I whisper, “I love you, I love you,” against his skin, each time I say the words he thrusts harder and I arc with pleasure. I savor the delicious pressing down of his weight on me, his lips on me, then the feeling of his love lifting me up as I tremble for him. Matt remembers my body and where I’m heading so he cups my face in his hands then gazes at me, eye-to-eye, soul to soul. “I love you,” he whispers, before his head rolls back in climax.

  With his final thrusts I’m undone, so shattered in his arms that he holds me tightly against him so none of my pieces can fall away. As I gasp for breath and slowly calm, I know this is exactly where I’m meant to be.

  * * *

  The sun is shining on my face as I squint, and for a moment I try to sort out where I am. Matt is naked and asleep next to me, his arm draped just under my breasts. The bed cover is half on the floor, and the sheets pulled from their tucked-in places, like white sails collapsed after a storm. It looks like a battle was fought on this bed but according to the contented look on Matt’s sleeping face, we must’ve won the war.

  A few minutes later his eyes blink open and his gaze moves across the bed, taking in all of the linen mayhem and my startled look.

  “Morning,” he whispers.

  “Oh my God, what did we do all night?” I ask with wide eyes.

  He looks at me intently, like he’s trying to figure out my state-of-mind. “Um, everything?”

  My stomach flip-flops hoping last night was as amazing for him as it was for me. What if...?

  “How are you feeling?” he asks as he stretches his free arm over his head.

  “I feel incredible. Last night was amazing. You don’t regret it, do you?” I ask tentatively, just to make sure we’re okay.

  He shakes his head. “I could never regret last night.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask.