SEDUCTIVE: A Contemporary Romance Anthology Read online

  So, being the good girlfriend, I asked, “What’s wrong, Bren?”

  “It’s the weirdest thing,” he said, following me over to the couch. After we sat, he continued. “I was in the backyard working out, and I sat on the picnic table for a minute to cool off.” I remembered that Brendan always sat on the table as he did some kind of quick meditation before heading into the house to shower. I realized then that he hadn’t showered this time—his hair seemed damp from exertion. “I found a half-smoked joint in the cracks of the table. Why is my dad all of a sudden smoking pot?”

  “What?”

  “That’s what I said. I mean…I thought I knew my dad—a pretty straight-laced guy, old school military.” That was something I didn’t know. “And here he is smoking a joint. You know, all my life, he’s told me not to do drugs, that it’s just a coward’s way to escape and I’m better than that, and now he’s—”

  “Are you sure it’s your dad?” God, I had to be careful. If Brendan found out it was me, I was done for. A strange panicky feeling settled in my stomach like seas roiling during a storm. “I agree with you—it really doesn’t sound like him at all.”

  Brendan began pacing in my living room and then stopped all of a sudden. I considered pulling him into my arms and holding him close, hoping to distract him from the truth. But he said, “I don’t know. Maybe I should just talk to him.”

  It was then that I considered telling him not to. Again, if I defended his dad or kept him from talking to the man, Brendan might feel like I was acting suspiciously. So I came up with a lame response. “Well, you know…people change. Maybe—”

  “No, not my dad, Bree. He’s not like that.” Well, there was no sense arguing, especially when I knew Logan’s reaction to when I brought that stupid thing over. “Something you need to understand about dad is he’s all about honor and earning respect and keeping your word. He’d never do something like this.” Brendan was quiet for a moment and my mind began wandering. “If he did, I don’t even know what that would mean.”

  I nodded but my thoughts were swirling. What Brendan was telling me didn’t make much sense. Seriously…if Logan was all about honor, would he really have fucked me? Just having sex with me wasn’t the issue, but that I cheated on Brendan—that was what made me question what his son was saying to me.

  Or maybe, like me, he felt like he couldn’t resist—and maybe he was feeling just as guilty and torn as I was. But I refused to believe that, and I found myself resenting the man.

  Brendan left a little while later, still not sure if he should confront his dad or just leave it be. I was feeling depressed and worse about the whole deal now, so I wasn’t even going to text or call Logan to give him a heads up. He was a grown man—he’d figure it out.

  This was one of the times I could have used a real mother—and, as usual, she was nowhere to be found.

  Before I knew it, we were in the thick of things—our senior year of high school officially began.

  So this was it. No school ever again after this year.

  I should have been happy. I should have been calm, relaxed, and feeling focused. Instead, I felt torn and confused—and I knew I needed to make some decisions.

  Lots of them.

  I knew for certain that I didn’t want to tell Brendan about my indiscretion with his father. That would break his heart, and I couldn’t do that to him. But that didn’t change the fact that everything about me was starting to feel like a lie.

  What made it worse was I was also starting to feel like a horny slut because I wanted to have sex again. Desperately. In fact, I was getting to the point where I could think of nothing else.

  I hoped the familiar and routine would take my mind off all that had been troubling me. Before I could even fully settle into my new schedule, though, my counselor called me into his office, asking me what I wanted to do with my life. I’d actually given it a lot of thought and knew my path looked nothing like Brendan’s future. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about it.

  “So what are you planning to do after you graduate, Briana?” All my friends said the first a in my name like the one in apple, but my counselor always pronounced it like ah. It didn’t bother me but it made me wonder how in tune with the student body this man with thinning gray hair really was.

  Not that it mattered. I got the feeling that, even if he didn’t actually care about me, he did in the vaguest of ways…and that was good enough. It was probably as much or more than my mom thought about me and definitely more than my sperm donor.

  I’d take love where I could find it.

  “I don’t know. I was thinking about maybe going to classes at the beauty college. Maybe do something with hair.”

  He nodded, looking over some papers on his desk, his fingertips pressed together as if contemplating the fate of the free world. “I don’t want to say too much, but…let’s just say I’ve been here a long time.” He licked his lower lip and then looked up from those papers into my eyes. “I was actually your mother’s counselor when she attended school here.” Taking a deep breath, he said, “So I feel the need to say that, if your mom’s trying to fill your head with notions of being a cosmetologist, I want you to stop that right now.” I wasn’t going to correct his misinformation. I didn’t think my mom and I had ever discussed my future, save the few times she told me to avoid assholes—not exactly advice I needed. “Nothing against cosmetologists, but you, Briana, should be a scientist. You’ve got the brains for it.”

  I hadn’t expected him to say that, so I started laughing. Had he accidentally mixed up my file with someone else’s? “I hate science, Mr. Parnell.”

  He gave me a warm smile, one that reminded me of my departed grandfather. “Fair enough—but you’re brilliant. Your teachers report to me that you’ve got a brain for analysis—and I see your grades.” He paused—for emphasis, I think—and he had my attention now. “You need to go to college.”

  Did he think I was one of his middle-class students? Maybe my mother had been one of his advisees back in the day, but it was obvious he hadn’t seen her since or had any clue what my family life was like. “I can’t afford college.”

  His watery blue eyes seemed kind—but also serious. “Yes, you can. We have a community college here in town, and if you choose to attend there for your first two years, you’ll pay a fraction of what you’d have to spend at a four-year university. Now, I don’t want to assume anything about your mother or father or your family’s circumstances, but…your mother’s single, correct?” I nodded. I did not want to talk about parents. “If your college finances are based on just your mother’s income, you would probably find it quite affordable. My guess is you’d qualify for all kinds of financial aid—and then you could get the education you deserve. You’d have a solid start on life.”

  I just sat there nodding but I honestly didn’t know what to think. Even had I wanted a wonderful future, I’d never felt like I deserved one. That was why Brendan had always seemed like a dream to me. He was probably the closest thing to my ticket out of here.

  My counselor asked me to think about what we’d discussed—but he finally let me leave.

  Brendan and I had lunch together later. I wanted to see what he thought about what Mr. Parnell had said, but he had things on his mind he needed to process first. “I finally talked to dad about that joint.”

  I nearly choked on the piece of apple I’d been chewing, because I’d thought that topic was done.

  Fortunately, my boyfriend didn’t notice my response.

  “Dad said it wasn’t his and he didn’t know where it came from.”

  “Well, that’s good,” I said, hoping I sounded optimistic and supportive.

  Brendan was shaking his head. “I don’t know, Bree.” He sighed, looking around the quad and nodding at one of his friends on the football team. “He’s been acting really weird lately.”

  Suddenly, I felt like a guilty criminal being interrogated. I knew as soon as my mouth opened that my wor
ds would reveal me as culpable.

  So I couldn’t say anything.

  After struggling through a dozen things I knew I couldn’t say, I managed to get out, “I’m sorry,” but it was time to change the subject. After another decent length of silence and a few bites of food, I asked, “Hey, Bren, have you ever wondered what it would be like…if I went to school with you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean if I went to California and went to the same college you’ll be going to.”

  Brendan looked like he was trying not to squirm. “I don’t know, Bree. Out-of-state tuition’s expensive, but I got lucky.”

  “Yeah, I know.” He really had been lucky, picking up a football scholarship our junior year. “But what if, Bren? What if we went to school together?”

  “I didn’t think you wanted to go to college.”

  “Well, Mr. Parnell got me thinking about it…and I thought it might be easier—for both of us, actually—if we went to school together. Then we’d both know one person on campus—and I feel like I’d do better.”

  Brendan put down his water bottle. “I think it’s a bad idea, Bree.”

  “Why?”

  “Everything I’ve learned about going to college—you’re finally figuring out how to be independent, you know? If we went together, it would kind of defeat the purpose.”

  Right… But for all intents and purposes, I was already living on my own. The only time I saw my mother nowadays was when she felt guilty or needed a place to crash. Love, devotion, loyalty, compassion? They had nothing to do with her maternal formula.

  “You really think that? Nothing there will be familiar—the only thing would be us. At least we’d have each other. You know…you and me against the world.” Just like we’d always talked about.

  He shook his head and patted my hand. “Have you even applied to any schools yet? This seems kind of last minute.”

  I might have laughed if I hadn’t found his attitude so distressing. “I have a whole year!”

  “Not with colleges. You need to do all this stuff early.”

  I just closed my mouth then. I couldn’t understand why, but it was very clear to me that he was trying to discourage me. If it was that he thought I shouldn’t go to school at all—or if he simply didn’t want me attending the same school he planned to, I didn’t know. But I dropped the subject. It was evident that he was uncomfortable with the idea.

  But that was so strange. If I hadn’t known better, I would have guessed he was trying to talk me out of even giving it a shot.

  I tried to let that notion go but, after a couple of days, it was still bothering me—so I decided to ask Logan about it one afternoon when the football team was out of town at an away game. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?

  I didn’t get an immediate response but he did text me long before the football team would be on the bus to come back to town, so I asked if I could come over.

  Seeing Logan was harder than I’d anticipated. Just looking in his sapphire blue eyes reminded me of the deep feelings of lust and desire I’d been trying to ignore. But I wasn’t there for sex and Logan was now off limits forever. So I swallowed, my resolve firm, and said, “I don’t know what the hell’s going on with Brendan.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, inviting me to sit on the sofa. But even though he maintained a respectful distance from me, I didn’t sit down.

  “He’s acting weird, Logan. Now, after all our planning and talking about our lives together, he acts like he doesn’t want to spend the future with me.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Well…he doesn’t want to go to school with me. My counselor is pushing me to go to college—and so I thought it would be cool to go to school with Brendan. But now he’s acting all weird…like he doesn’t want to be with me. All of a sudden, he seems like he doesn’t want us spending our future together like we’ve been planning all along.” Logan’s eyes seemed to hold some secret, something I wanted to know, but I kept talking. “Going to school together would have been perfect—and I’ve been hoping to repair our damaged relationship.”

  Logan inhaled deeply, as if he’d been climbing to the top of a peak, and then he said, “Briana…there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Holy shit. Had Logan told Brendan what had happened between us? It might explain my boyfriend’s cool demeanor. Actually, it could probably explain a lot. “Did you say something to him?”

  Shaking his head, Logan placed his hands on my shoulders. “No, Briana. This is something different.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Okay…but sit down. You’re not going to believe what I’m about to say.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  My breathing was shallow and my fingertips felt numb as I tried to focus. Logan promised I wouldn’t believe his next words—so I made an effort to listen carefully with an open mind.

  His hands were still on my shoulders and, had I not been feeling a little freaked out, I might have been struggling with being near him. At his bidding, though, I sat on the sofa. He seemed to think whatever he had to say would be hard to swallow.

  And it was.

  “Baby, I know why Brendan hasn’t admitted this to you, because he’s still working through it himself but…” His eyes searched mine as he sucked down another long, slow breath. “He’s gay.”

  “What?” I couldn’t trust my ears. If I’d heard what I thought I had, then I wondered why Logan would even say something like that.

  “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, Briana.”

  I stood, angry. “That’s bullshit,” I said. It couldn’t be true.

  “I know it’s hard to fathom—especially since Brendan hasn’t completely come to terms with it himself yet. But I love my son, no matter who he is at the core…and I believe that, once he realizes it, he’ll fully embrace who he is.”

  “Whatever.” I started walking out of the living room. I didn’t need to hear this shit.

  “You’re going to have to trust me, Briana.”

  The fury was rising in my chest. I didn’t think I’d ever felt this angry in my life—and that was saying something, considering what a shitty person my mother could be sometimes. “I don’t have to do dick, Logan. I can’t trust you on this at all.”

  “All right. Fine. You want proof?”

  I stopped dead in my tracks. What the hell kind of proof could Logan have?

  I almost told him no, but his accusation was pretty serious. If what he said was true, then my relationship with Brendan was built on a lie. I jutted my jaw and crossed my arms. “Yes, I think I do.”

  He nodded, his blue eyes crystal clear, the whiskers on his chin and jaw barely visible, as handsome as ever—but I had to ignore that right now. As I followed him up the stairs in his house, I tried really hard to stay angry with him, because I was pretty sure this was all a big scam. He liked the idea of having a young girlfriend, one who was innocent in the ways of love, and the only way he could ensure I stayed his was to break up Brendan and me. When we reached the top of the stairs, I wondered to myself if he’d already tried to do this with Brendan and, having failed, had moved on to me.

  We paused in the hallway between the two doors to both men’s rooms—Logan’s on the left and Brendan’s on the right. “You sure you want to do this?”

  I nodded. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Okay.” He opened the door to Brendan’s room. “Have you ever used his laptop?”

  “No. I have no reason to. I can look stuff up on my phone.”

  He nodded and sat at Brendan’s desk. Lifting the lid of the thin black computer, he touched the power button and waited for it to warm up. Finally, it displayed the log on screen. Logan clicked a button and I wondered to myself why my boyfriend hadn’t set it up with a password.

  Probably because he trusted his friends, me, and his dad. Stupid move, Bren.

  “So you might be wondering why I know what’s on Brendan’s laptop. You might not remem
ber, but my computer wasn’t working last spring and he let me use his for a couple of things while mine was at the shop. I had a to do a presentation to the people in my department for a new class I and a colleague were developing at the time and I saved some pictures on Brendan’s computer. When I went to PowerPoint to create a presentation and searched for the pictures I needed to insert, I discovered this completely by accident.” And, with that, he opened up a folder called stuff in Brendan’s pictures.

  The thumbnails in the folder confused me at first until I could tell what I was looking at. I leaned forward a bit just to be sure.

  The first picture I scrutinized was a naked man. As my eyes skimmed over the rest of the photos in view, I saw that they were all naked men. One was a guy suggestively holding a dripping fire hose, wearing a helmet. Another was a guy in a cowboy hat standing next to a horse. As Logan began to scroll, I saw lots more. There were a few with couples—male couples—in various poses. The one that stuck out was where one guy was giving another a blowjob.

  “So what? They’re just pictures, Logan. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  He rubbed his whiskery chin. “Okay. I suppose it doesn’t. But…” I examined his eyes, wishing he’d get to the point. “Would you want to look at pictures of naked women?”

  “What?” This was just a weird conversation and it was making me feel uncomfortable. “I wouldn’t want to look at any naked pictures.” While I was attracted to men and was beginning to realize I loved cocks (well, one in particular that I’d now sworn off of), I didn’t think penises were very attractive to look at—and I had no desire to gaze upon nude women. “That’s just weird.”

  Logan took a deep breath, and I felt like he was growing exasperated with me. And I was fine with that because I wasn’t very happy with him, either. “I suppose it might seem that way but something you might not understand is that’s the way men are wired. We’re visually stimulated.” I felt an involuntary shiver crawl up my spine as I remembered the way Logan had looked at me in various states of undress, the way he had admired my “beauty.” “So, Briana, I’d like you to consider that Brendan is looking at pictures of naked men…because that’s what turns him on. He’s aroused by males.” Logan was pointing to the pictures on Brendan’s laptop, pictures that seemed to be mocking me somehow. “I don’t know that my son is fully ready to admit that even to himself yet, which is why the two of you are dating, but—”