Pink Shades of Words: Walk 2016 Read online

  Eventually, the crests became increasingly gentler and the fireworks began to steadily dim behind my eyes as my orgasm rolled to a close. I had hardly any time to process this, though, before I was swept up in another wave of arousal.

  The instant I opened my eyes, I saw Sebastian standing over me. With one hand, he was smoothly stroking my pussy to guide me back down from the amazing orgasm. With the other hand, he had pushed his jeans and boxers down his legs and was rolling a condom on his steel-hard erection.

  "Oh, God," I groaned.

  He flashed me a lusty smile. "Hey," he said. "Even though I made you come again, I still haven't fulfilled your wish. You know, the one to fuck your body? I plan to remedy that immediately."

  Although, just seconds before, I would've sworn I was too tired to talk, let alone move, the thought of feeling him inside me, filling me up, and pumping into me with that huge cock energized me to such an extent that I found myself instantly popping up into a sitting position so that I could lean forward and push his jeans the rest of the way down his legs.

  He grinned at me. "Ah, I see you like that idea," he said as he kicked his jeans and his boxers off his feet.

  I scooted back on the bed until my head was reclining against the pillow and opened my arms and my legs to him. "I do like that idea," I said. "I like it a lot. In fact, I like it so much that I think you should put it into practice immediately."

  He climbed on top of me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he placed the head of his cock at my entrance. When he positioned himself, he whispered in my ear, "Are you ready?"

  "I've never been so ready," I whispered back. "I need you. Fuck me. Please, right now."

  He drove himself into me with a force that took my breath away. I screamed, and he pulled back, his eyebrows knit together and his eyes tight with concern.

  "Did I hurt you?"

  I shook my head, but the worried look didn't disappear.

  "You're so tiny," he said. "Was I too big?"

  I didn't think I could speak, but when I tried, my voice was there, although barely. I said in a raspy whisper, "No. I was screaming because it felt good. Yeah, you’re huge, but in the best fucking way. It feels so good. Please don't stop."

  He groaned, collapsing to his elbows on top of me. He began to move inside of me, his hips building up speed until he was thrusting powerfully. His chest brushed the tips of my nipples as he pumped in and out of me, adding to the festival of pleasurable sensations zipping around my body.

  "Oh, Miche," he moaned in my ear. "Oh, God. I don't know how long I can last. I've just... I've dreamed about this for so long."

  "Don't worry about it," I whispered. "Come whenever you want."

  "I'm gonna try to hold out," he gasped. "I want to fuck you as long as possible. God, I never want to stop fucking you."

  "God, yes, that sounds amazing," I agreed. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, holding on for dear life as he pounded into me for what seemed like forever.

  Finally, the muscles of his back bunched under my fingers, and he buried his face in my neck, groaning loudly as his arms slipped around me and crushed me to him.

  I felt a delicious pressure inside me and realized it must have been the force of his orgasm, which I could feel spilling into me through the thin sheath of the condom. I held him and stroked his hair as he trembled. My muscles were shaking, as well.

  He rolled over and collapsed back on the bed, gasping, "I don't want to crush you."

  I tumbled with him, snuggling into the niche where his chest met his neck and reveling in the feeling of his arms holding me, his fingers stroking my hair. "Yeah, that probably wouldn't be a good idea," I teased. "Although, I won't lie—it wouldn't be a bad way to go."

  He laughed hoarsely and kissed the top of my head. "That was amazing, baby," he said.

  "No argument here," I answered.

  Then we were silent for a while. I lost myself in the sound of his heartbeat under my ear, the feel of his chest rising and falling under my cheek. I had never felt closer to another human being than I did to Sebastian at that moment. It was hard to tell where I ended and he began. Our bodies were intertwined and entangled, as were our souls. I was complete in that moment, in a way I had never been before.

  The utopian bliss was shattered by a loud chime coming from my cell phone, which let me know that I had a text message. I groaned and turned over to get out of bed and head over to my purse so I could get my cell phone.

  "Don't!" Sebastian said. "Just leave it. Ignore it! The world outside doesn't exist, Miche. The only real world is the one in here. The one between me and you."

  God, it sounded tempting. But it wasn't realistic.

  "True,” I said. “The world in here feels more real than anything I've ever experienced out there. But the truth is, there actually is a world back at our hotel, including roommates who could get us in a hell of a lot of trouble if they reported us. I need to make sure that's not one of them."

  He raised himself up on his elbows. God, he looked impossibly handsome, all rumpled and bed-worn.

  "Good point," he conceded, but he didn't sound happy about it.

  Neither was I. But neither one of us would benefit from our grades going to shit, so it had to be done.

  I swiped my phone and entered my password. Then I pressed the icon to bring up my text message.

  "Oh, fuck," I groaned.

  He laughed, stretching his arms above his head as he lay back on the pillow. "I know you're saying that because you're not happy about whatever you see on your phone, but I can't help it. Seeing you standing there naked and groaning, 'Oh, fuck,' is sexy as hell," he said lightly.

  I held the phone up to him. "It's my parents," I said flatly.

  "Hmm. Distinctly less sexy," he agreed.

  "They're in town," I explained. "They came in as a surprise. They want to have dinner."

  "And getting less sexy by the moment."

  "Yeah. Trust me. It's not gonna be any fun," I said, pulling my clothes back on.

  He stood up from the bed and began to get dressed as well. "Well, I guess we’ll find out," he said, smiling.

  I stopped in my tracks and looked at him. "Do you want to come with me?" I asked, surprised. "Would you do that?

  "Hell, yes," he confirmed. "Where you go, I go, babe. Plus, with me along, maybe it will be fun. I'll be moral support."

  I laughed. "Don't get too ahead of yourself. You might be magic, but even Harry freakin' Potter couldn't make this night enjoyable. Or even bearable." I wrapped my arms around his waist. "But you have no idea how much it means that you're coming with me. Seriously."

  He kissed the top of my head. His voice was full of affection when he spoke. "Like I said, babe. Where you go, I go."

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Michelle

  My hands shook as Sebastian and I walked up to the restaurant door. It was amazing how quickly a day could turn on a dime. Only an hour ago, this had been the most magical day of my life. Then, with the snap of a finger—well, the chime of a text message, anyway—it had all changed. Now, we were headed in to do the thing I dreaded most in life: spend time with Douchebag Dan.

  I gave our names to the maître d', and then Sebastian and I followed him as he wove through the dining room. When I spotted Dan and my mother at a far table, I gave them a tight smile and a wave. My mom's face lit up when she saw me, and her hand shot in the air to wave.

  Warmth spread in my heart. I loved her so much. That's why it hurt me so much to see how Dan had dimmed her fire.

  As if he could read my mind, Dan leveled a disapproving stare at my mom and grabbed her wrist to pull it down. After he’d leaned in toward her and whispered angrily, she cast her eyes to the table and hunched her shoulders like a naughty child accepting a scolding.

  Fuck. I really hated him enough to almost kill him the majority of the time, and the feeling was only heightened when he pulled dick moves like that one.

  Sebastian placed his hand on
my hip in support as we continued toward the table. While we were still out of earshot, he bent down to me and whispered, "Holy shit, your stepdad really is an asshole, huh?"

  I gave him a quick, mirthless smile before whispering back, "I prefer cocksucker, but, yes. Yes, he is."

  Sebastian and I sat at the table, and I flashed a quick smile toward my mom, hoping Dan wouldn't notice and say something caustic. I was going to do my best not to let him ruin my night, but that would be a lot easier if he would cooperate by not being a total dickhead.

  We exchanged introductions, and then Dan unfolded his napkin, snapping it pretentiously, and laid it across his lap.

  "I couldn't help but notice that you weren't at the hotel where the debate competition was being held when your mother and I dropped in. If I'm not mistaken, attending the competition was the point of this entire trip, wasn't it? Not to mention a mandatory requirement of the class?"

  Well. He certainly blew the whole "not being a total dickhead" thing right out of the gate. I wanted to scream, "I am a grown-ass woman! You do not get to tell me where I have to be anymore!"

  But, of course, that would have hurt and upset my mom, so I gritted my teeth and struggled to keep the frustration out of my voice as I answered, "No, we weren't at the hotel. We stepped out to do some sightseeing."

  My mom smiled. "Oh, that sounds lovely, honey!"

  Dan sent her a withering glare, and the smile died on her lips.

  He grumbled, "Sightseeing? Glad my money's going to good use."

  I plastered on a tight smile and replied in an even tighter voice, "My school is paid for with scholarships, grants, and work study. I don't know if your money goes to good use or not, but it doesn't go to me, so whether or not I go sightseeing is irrelevant to your personal finances."

  Dan narrowed his eyes at me, but before he could respond, my mom interjected in her smoothly cheerful way, "Sebastian, we're so happy to meet you. I want to know all about you. Now, how did you two meet?"

  Sebastian seemed relieved for he and my mom take over the bulk of the conversational duties, keeping Dan and I from interacting. For my part, I kept my mouth shut as much as possible so as not to bait Dan into snorting derisively or shooting my mom a dirty look. He did those things throughout dinner anyway, but it seemed like the sound of my voice was a real trigger for his condescension. So, with that in mind, I attempted to remove it from the equation as much as possible.

  As the dinner went on, sadness grew in my heart. It wasn't like this tense back-and-forth between the three of us was an unusual occurrence or anything. Nah, this had basically been every night of the week when I was in junior high and high school. This night was nothing special.

  The thing that made it different was being there with Sebastian. All night, I kept watching Dan and my mom, and then me and Sebastian. I tried to draw some sort of conclusion. I just couldn’t figure it out. Dan had to have looked at her once the way Sebastian looked at me now, right? Like she’d hung the moon and her eyes were the stars? What had happened? When had he started thinking every clever, fun, creative thing she did or said was stupid? When had she started agreeing with him?

  When had she started making herself small so that he could feel bigger?

  The acid knot in my belly grew steadily all night until, by the time we said goodbye, I didn't know if I could even stand—I felt that sick to my stomach. As we prepared to part ways on the sidewalk, I wrapped my mom up in my arms and held on extra tight. I didn't want to let her go.

  "I love you," I whispered as if it were the last time I would ever see her. "You're the best. Seriously, Mom. You're the coolest, smartest, funniest mom in the world."

  When I drew back, she had tears in her eyes. She looked taken aback at the praise, and that filled me with guilt. As much as I hated Dan for putting her down, I hadn't ever done my part to build her up, either. I vowed to change that.

  She touched the side of my face, her eyes shimmering. "You're the best girl," she said, her voice a tight-throated rasp.

  Dan, of course, fucked up the moment by rolling his eyes and clearing his throat loudly as he looked at his watch. That broke the spell, and my mom glanced at him nervously.

  "Sorry, honey," she rushed out even though she hadn't done anything wrong.

  And, with that, they headed off down the street.

  I thought I might vomit.

  Sebastian wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close as we walked toward the hotel. He kissed the top of my head.

  "That wasn't so bad, now, was it?"

  Ice filled my veins. When he said that it "wasn't so bad," he meant that it hadn't erupted into a screaming match or anything. However, it scared the shit out of me that he had witnessed Dan’s treatment my mom and could characterize it as "wasn’t so bad."

  All I could do was wonder how long it would be until everything Sebastian thought was so adorable about me right now turned into annoyances he’d try to stamp out. I wondered how long it would be until I let him. Until I was trying to beat him to the punch by smoothing out everything unique or memorable thing about me to make myself bland and palatable.

  God, I couldn't stand the thought of living a life where all I tried to do, day in and day out, was curl myself up into a metaphorical ball. To try to be tiny and unnoticeable. That was death. Everything inside me railed against that possibility.

  Sebastian must have felt me stiffen, because he stopped walking and put his hands on my upper arms, turning me to face him. "What's wrong?" he asked, searching my face.

  "How long will you like me the way I am?" I blurted out, my voice trembling. "How long until you just want me to be normal, like everyone else?"

  He glanced away for a moment, his expression thoughtful, and then back to me. He looked unbearably sad, and I couldn't stand that I had done that to him. But I had to know.

  He took my hands in his and spoke solemnly. "Miche, I don't know what more I can say to convince you of the way I feel. First, it was why do I like you. Now, it's how long will I like you. And I get it. Believe me. I get how hard it must be for you to trust. And, after tonight, I get it even more than I did before.

  "But the truth is, there's nothing more I can say that will make you believe what’s in my heart until you know within yourself that you are good enough. All of my words will be nothing but empty promises to your ears unless you already know that deep inside. And I can’t do that for you. The only person who can give you the gift of knowing your own worth...is you."

  He drew me to him and held me tight. I felt like I would shatter. I recognized the embrace. It was the one I had just given my mother. It was the way you held someone when you were afraid you were seeing them for the last time.

  He pulled back and looked into my eyes. "Come on. Let's get you back to the hotel. I think maybe I should drive back on my own tomorrow. That maybe you need some time to think. Away from me."

  Everything inside me screamed that it wasn't true, that I needed him, not time away from him.

  Everything, that was, except for the part of my mind and my heart that recognized the truth in his words.

  I nodded, and we continued on the long, wordless walk back to the hotel.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Sebastian

  "Dude, seriously? You are bumming me the fuck out. Do you plan on, maybe, I don't know...leaving the room today? I know that's a radical idea. But just consider it for a moment. Also consider that foods other than Cup O' Noodle exist in the world. If you just, ya know...leave the room to go get them."

  "Jackson, f'real, shut the fuck up."

  He whistled low and disapprovingly. "God damn, dude. I never thought I'd see the day."

  He was obviously fishing for me to ask him what day he was talking about. And I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but the longer the silence stretched on, the more annoyed I became.

  Finally, I rolled my eyes and said, "Fine. Fuck. I'll bite. What day?"

  He grunted. "The day that Sebastian
Winters was so pussy-whipped that he stopped living his fucking life because a girl wouldn't return his texts."

  I sighed. It was true. I had expected to spend the hours on the drive back to Arcata apart from Miche. I had thought we would talk again that night when we got home. That we would iron everything out and things would go back to normal. But nope. It had been almost a week now, and I hadn't heard from her. Not one word.

  I was about to respond to Jackson when he interrupted me with a groan.

  "God damn it, stop sighing! I swear to God, it's like I'm at my junior high school sister's slumber party and they're watching fuckin' Twilight all the time with the nonstop sighing and melodramatic shit that's been going on in here! Now—and listen closely, compadre, because this is a one-time offer—if you want to talk, talk. Now. I'll listen. If you don't, don't. That's fine too. But if you choose 'don't,' then you've gotta get your shit together and pull your ass out of this funk on your own. I-fucking-mmediately. I'm pulling the roommate card, man. I've let you stew in your own juices for a week. It's enough."

  I didn't answer. After a week's worth of moping around, doing nothing but listening to Seether on my headphones, I knew he was right. I was ready to snap out of it too. I just hadn't been able to summon up enough momentum to break the inertia of my downward spiral on my own.

  "I definitely don't want to 'talk about my feelings.' I'm not that far gone."

  Jackson looked distinctly relieved. "Fine. Well, what are you gonna do, then? If you want my advice, I've always found getting shitfaced to be a solid strategy."

  "Nah. Not my style. I think I'm gonna go work out."

  "There ya go. Sweat out those demons."