A Year of Love Read online

  Now I kinda wanted one of those, if I were being honest. But everything else, that was so not me.

  I mean, I drove myself to Grant West. It was a three-hour drive from where I grew up, and I was rolling in with myself, a couple bags, and the bare necessities. I had bedding. Towels. The usual utility basket. I wasn’t dealing with a microwave. I didn’t have any frou-frou chairs or Corinthian leather beanbags.

  I had my clothes, my computer, and my phone. Bare. Bones.

  I was planning on grabbing my textbooks as soon as possible, though, because while everyone was moving in, I wanted to get to the bookstore when that was somewhat empty. It’d be packed the day after tomorrow and any time after that. I wanted all my stuff taken care of: registration, meal plans, academic advisor meeting, all of it.

  I was just turning into my dorm when I heard from behind me, “Mara?”

  I looked, and well, fuck me. I recognized her, but I didn’t know her that well.

  “Yeah. Hi.”

  She was going into the room across from mine. The door was open, with her hand on the doorknob, but at my acknowledgement, she let go and took a step back. She blinked a few times, tucking some of her blonde hair behind her ears. “I didn’t know if you knew me.”

  I nodded. “Taz. I know you.”

  She gave a nod, biting her lip.

  Tasmin Shaw. It was an uncomfortable connection we had because she didn’t go to my high school. She and her twin brother went to the school in our neighboring town, but her other brother was the reason I didn’t want even a friends-with-benefits sort of deal. Because he’d been just that. Not her twin, but the other one, who did go to my school. And yeah, it was all awkward because while I only heard nice things about Tasmin Shaw, I wanted nothing to do with her.

  It wasn’t personal. I wanted nothing to do with anyone from Roussou or Fallen Crest.

  If I’d known how things would’ve ended with her brother, Blaise, then I would’ve tried for an out-of-state college. I had tried, actually, but the out-of-state funding fell through. It was hella expensive.

  So, because of that, we stood there in that hallway not saying anything.

  “Okay. Well.” She motioned toward her room, her head bent, and she was biting her lip again. “I’m going to go—”

  “Wait.” Dammit. She’d be my neighbor. I sighed. “I don’t know what you know about me or heard about me, but I want no drama this year.”

  Her head raised. Taz was nice, and I could see what I heard about her was true. I’d seen her at parties before, but again, we barely interacted. She stuck to her friends, and I was with mine. “I’m just, doing my own thing this year.”

  Understanding flared, along with more hurt, but she gave another nod. “I get it.” Her phone started ringing, and she motioned inside. “Well. I’ll be here.”

  “Uh.”

  She started to go in but paused at my statement.

  This was so awkward. “Can you not tell Blaise about me?”

  There was another flicker in her gaze, but she nodded. Her voice came out raspy. “No problem.”

  “Thanks.” I gave a nod.

  She gave a nod.

  She went inside.

  So did I.

  And that was… I didn’t know what that was, but I was already tired.

  Turning, I went in my room.

  My roommate and I both were going with the bare essentials theme because she had bedding piled up on her bed. A few books on one of the desks. And a few boxes in front of a dresser. I was guessing she’d claimed those spots, so I started putting my stuff on the other bed, desk, and dresser. She hadn’t picked a closet, so I took the closest one to the door, leaving her the closet by her desk. She’d been nice and left me the desk by the window. I was starting to climb up to the top bunk when I heard from somewhere behind me, “You can have the bottom.”

  I turned.

  I was assuming she was my roommate since she had a huge laundry bag over her shoulder, another backpack, and she was holding a large laundry basket filled with stuff. She was sweating, and she flashed me a grin. “I’m Brenda. Hi. You’re Mara?”

  I nodded. “I am.”

  She came in, dropped her stuff on the floor and gave me a wave.

  She was pretty, long, curly brown hair. Blue eyes. Dark brown skin. Taller than me. She was toned, too. Not skinny, but healthy—weight goals for me. I’d love to be that strong. Right now, I looked petite and weak since I was only five foot four, but one day I wanted to look like she did. Like, gymnastics kind of toned.

  Simone Biles was my goddess.

  “You can have the bottom bed because I’m not going to be around that much.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded, dropping the rest of her stuff off at her desk. “I have a job and a serious boyfriend back home, which is an hour away. I loaded my schedule so I have classes only two days a week. I hope you’re okay having a roommate who’s basically only here one night of the week. I’m planning on driving back the morning of classes, staying the night, and heading home after my last class.” She was so matter of fact about it, brushing some of her hair off her face. “I was planning on doing the whole normal freshman experience, but I got a job at my dad’s company. It’s too good to pass up, so yeah. I’ll only be around the bare minimum.”

  I could be in love with this girl. She was even using my wording.

  She kept on, “I’d understand if you wanted a different roommate. No hurt feelings whatsoever. Some girls want the whole freshman/roomie/best friend thing, but I just ain’t going to be that for you.”

  “No.” I shook my head quickly. “That sounds perfect to me. My own room? Fuck yeah.”

  She grinned. “Oh good. I wasn’t sure how ‘the roommate’ would handle it.”

  “Not me. I think I’m wet for you, it’s that perfect for me.”

  She laughed. “That’s awesome. I’m Brenda Noveles, officially meeting you.” She held out her hand, and I shook it.

  “Mara Daniels.” I scanned the room. “You got more stuff coming up?”

  She hesitated before shaking her head. “No. Is that a problem?”

  Seriously. Wet. For. This. Girl.

  I shook my head. “Nope. Again. This is a match made in heaven.”

  She gave another good-natured chuckle before slumping down into her desk chair. “I’m taking it you don’t have a lot either?”

  “Just a few more things in my car.”

  She nodded, taking in all of my stuff—or the lack of my stuff. I had less than she did, and she whistled. “Let me guess, your mom was a hoarder?”

  I suppressed a grin. “Not in that way.”

  She frowned.

  She didn’t understand, and I was okay with that. No drama meant that I didn’t need to explain my shitty family life, to anyone. And that was exactly how I wanted it.

  * * *

  Blocked calls (39)

  Early September

  We were into our second week of classes by now and college was amazing.

  Basically, no roommate, and when Brenda was there, she was cool to hang with. She was mostly studying, but there was a bar off campus that was lenient with the ID thing, and yeah, we hung there a couple times, having a beer. It was within walking distance, too. That was the cherry on top. I wasn’t always a big drinker, but our first night there, we both got lit. Walking back was a whole adventure. I wasn’t totally sure what we did on the short trek back, but there were vague memories of a lawn gnome, some green glitter, and I was blanking with the rest. I think there was an argument if I could take the gnome back with me and Brenda argued heavily against it, saying it was bad luck.

  I later woke, covered in green glitter. After that, who knows.

  But classes were hard.

  The other girls on my floor figured out I was the anti-social one, and realized Brenda was never there, so they did their own thing. Every now and then Taz and I would cross paths in the bathroom. The polite, ‘hey, how’s it going’ exchan
ge would happen between us, but that was it. I saw her a few times on campus with a guy who must have been her boyfriend, whom I didn’t know, but I’d heard that he was good people. At least that’s what the rumor mill had said from back home.

  Miles: Party at Alpha Mu tonight?

  Miles was a friend from class, and so far, he was cool. I knew nothing about him except that he was always in a good mood. This was the third time he’d invited me to a party. I’d gone another time, and was actually surprised that I enjoyed it.

  Not that I was against parties. I enjoyed parties, but drama came with parties. So. Yeah. There you go.

  Me: Sure. What time?

  Miles: I’ll swing by at eleven? Walk together?

  Which was code that he was going to try and hook up with someone, so I needed to plan on walking back by myself or getting an Uber. I was cool with either. Grant West was a small city, with a larger suburb around its perimeter. They fit the requirements, so it was a D1 school, but Grant West itself still felt small. The plus side was that there were so many students who walked to frat row for their parties, there were always students walking.

  Me: Cool. See you then.

  * * *

  He buzzed when he was in the lobby, and I hurried down.

  I was in tight jeans, the back was shredded, so it gave a glimpse of my black thong, but nothing actually showed. Maybe a bit of my cheek, and I had on a tight black tank that was shredded on the ends and in the back. It was made like that, and since my hair was shoulder-length, I didn’t feel a need to put it up. I was blessed with good hair. Never needed much styling at all, and the make-up was also at a minimum. Tonight was about winding down.

  I wanted to drink, laugh, and relax. If I hooked up with someone, then I hooked up with someone. Crap… I almost forgot. I went back and grabbed a couple condoms, sliding them into my back pocket.

  Keys went into my bra (there was a little pocket on the inside…seriously, best invention ever) and I had enough cleavage to keep them there, and the phone went into my front pocket that had a hidden zipper. This wasn’t my first rodeo at a party.

  When I hit the lounge, Miles was leaning against the front desk, his arm slung over it. He had that flirty, lazy grin on his face, one that I’d started to recognize as him trying to get a hookup. I glanced at the girl behind the desk. She was pretty. I could see why he was trying to get into her pants.

  His eyebrows shot up, and his mouth dropped when he saw me. “Holy fuck, Daniels.” He skimmed me up and down. “I knew you were hot, but you’re sizzling tonight. Day-um.”

  The girl behind the desk gave me a grin, but there was a whole cautious vibe to her.

  Damn. She was nice.

  I was more comfortable around bitchy girls, knew the rules and how to operate around them. Nice girls like this one and Taz, I had no clue how to be around them. I’d been friends with the bitchy, popular girls where I came from, all of whom had been calling, emailing, texting, and DMing me, and I’d been a bad friend since I got here. I’d been avoiding everyone from back home. I figured they’d move on and forget me sooner or later.

  But this girl seemed nice.

  I went over and gave her a little nod. “I’m Daniels.” And I hit Miles with my shoulder to his chest. “We’re party buds. You single?”

  Miles choked behind me. I was doing him a favor, and he knew it.

  Her eyes got big, and wide. “I—yes.” She skirted a look to Miles behind me. “I’m Solana. And,” she looked between Miles and me before coming to a decision. She pulled out a piece of paper, wrote her digits on it, and gave it to me. “For…” Her gaze went to Miles, but she was handing it to me.

  She was shy.

  I took the paper and smiled. “Got it.”

  I could feel Miles’s body vibrating behind me. He so knew what was going on, but he was keeping quiet.

  He was being smart.

  I tucked the paper into my pocket and elbowed him in the chest because he had moved behind me at this point, trying to see the paper. “We’re going to the Alpha Mu party. Not sure on your hours here, but if you want to come over when you’re done, give me a call. I’ll text you in a bit.”

  Her smile brightened, and she sat up even straighter. “That sounds awesome. It is Friday night.”

  “Touché.”

  I elbowed Miles again, and almost had to push him out the door.

  “Dude!” That was from him once we got outside. He turned, walking backwards, and held his hands toward me. “Dude!”

  I laughed. “It should be ‘dudette.’” But I knew what he was going on about.

  “Did you get me a number?”

  We kept walking, him backwards and me facing him. I looked to make sure we were past the windows where Solana wouldn’t see us, and once we were, I pulled the paper out. “We have to go over rules because even though she gave it to me, she knew I’d give it to you, and I agreed on some conditions.”

  “When did that conversation happen?”

  “It’s a girl thing.” I handed him the paper. He started to take it, but I held it up. “I just met her and I gotta tell you a few things. That girl is nice. N-I-C-E. That means she’s not a booty call, you got me?”

  “How do you know that?”

  I shrugged and let him take the number. “I just do. Text her, let her know it’s you and give her my number too. She’s going to text to come out tonight, and you better not be macking on another girl when she does.”

  “Can I mack on you?” He wiggled his eyebrows with a grin.

  I ignored that. He knew my deal. We were friends, so that meant he and I couldn’t do anything else. I gave him a full explanation at the first party. It was a drunken explanation, but he got my drift. His flirting was just an automatic thing for him, like breathing.

  “That’s another thing.”

  He froze, hearing my stern tone. “What is?”

  “Flirting with me. You can’t do that in front of her. Some girls know the deal. I do. She doesn’t. Don’t flirt in front of her.”

  He frowned. “Wait. What’s the deal?”

  I kept going, moving around him. I shrugged, putting my hands in my pockets. “That you’re not serious, but a good girl who’s genuinely interested might not read that right. They’ll get confused.”

  He continued to frown but caught up to walk next to me. “I don’t know how I feel about that. You don’t think I’m serious?”

  I shot him a look. “You’re being weird. Just don’t flirt with me in front of her, or flirt with anyone in front of her. Not unless you don’t want to date her. Got it?”

  “You have a lot of rules for someone you just met.”

  I gave another shrug. “She’s a nice girl. I’m just trying to look out for her, keep her a nice girl. I’m not a mean girl.”

  At least, I wasn’t anymore.

  A sour taste filled my mouth at the reminder, but that was another past that I was trying to leave behind.

  Once we hit the main street that led to frat row, we weren’t the only ones heading there. A whole crowd of students had filled up the street. Miles was distracted the second we merged with everyone else—running into friends—and some of the tension left me because I knew he was about to start asking me questions.

  I didn’t do drama and I didn’t do questions.

  The questions part was harder to enforce, because fuck, a good friend would ask questions.

  I glanced at Miles, hoping he’d read between the lines and not push anything personal anymore. Guys were easier to follow those rules. It’s what they expected growing up with other guys. I was hoping, despite my vagina status, that he’d start just thinking of me as another guy.

  A girl could hope, anyway.

  And I was right about the nice girl thing.

  Solana came out that night, and she was an ace shot at beer pong.

  She also hooked up with Miles that night. I was glad for the dude.

  * * *

  Blocked calls (42)

 
; Mid-September

  We had high hopes for Solana, but it didn’t work out with her and Miles. Neither seemed to mind, but on the pro side, all three of us remained party friends. Miles got the memo not to ask me any personal or deep questions, and I’m thinking he must’ve shared his insights with Solana because she stopped trying after our second hang out. So, yay me. They were perfect hang-out and party friends.

  Mid-September was when the first drama reared up.

  We were doing a study group session at the library, and I was asked to join by one of Miles’s friends. Gavin Miller. I could say he was somewhat my friend, too, but he was more Miles’s. I’d met him a few times at the Alpha Mu parties since he was in the fraternity, and he was also on the football team.

  Miles was not on the team. He was just friends with a lot of the players.

  Gavin invited a few others from class.

  Sabrina Burford. She knew Gavin because she was a sorority sister, a Kappa girl. A guy named Cruz Styles, and the third person didn’t show. Miles was in the library with us, so he plopped his books next to me, and took off to go and socialize. The drama happened an hour into studying when Gavin was flirting with me, or trying, and Sabrina was obviously not liking it.

  I started getting the nasty looks, the undercutting comments, the snide remarks, and trust me, there was a difference between a snarky retort and a statement that just cuts you deep.

  I took it for ten whole minutes.

  She’d coughed ‘cunt’ for the second time in my direction and I was seeing red. Dropping my book, I stood and reached for her, or for her hair. Twisting it in my hand, getting a real good grip, I jerked her off her chair. She screamed, but I was there, covering her mouth with my shirt.

  She didn’t know me.

  I’d been prepared.

  Fallen Crest wasn’t a physical or violent school, but Roussou was, and we partied enough with Roussou students to learn how to get tough when the situation called for it. Or somewhat tough. Some of this take no bullshit also came from my family life because I. Was. Not. Having. It.