A Year of Love Read online

  Michelle refuses to jump, so she remains on the shore. Drapes herself on a boulder and leans back like she’s posing in a mermaid photoshoot, her curls shining in the sun. We stay out there for most of the afternoon, until we run out of drinking water and are all gasping from dehydration. Then we go back to the house, disappearing into our respective rooms for some pre-dinner naps.

  Dinner consists of juicy steaks picked up at the butcher shop near the marina, and baked potatoes on the grill. For once, Michelle isn’t being annoying. A rare occasion, indeed. She, Nick, and Danny regale me with college stories. Nick rolls a joint and even Michelle takes a few hits, while I pass on it because it makes me sleepy. Instead, I blend up some pina coladas for myself and Michelle, while Nick and Danny steadily make a dent in the beer cooler. I don’t know who suggests it, but it’s around midnight and suddenly we’re playing a game of I Never. I’d tried bowing out, but Nick cajoles me into it in his typical asshole way.

  “Come on, Poodle,” he taunts. “This is your chance to prove your moral superiority. Watch. She’s not going to drink at all.”

  Danny snorts. “Not even a sip,” he agrees.

  “Oh, stop it,” Michelle argues, reaching over to pat my arm. For once, her touch doesn’t feel condescending, but reassuring. Like it’s us against the boys. “She’s two years younger. She hasn’t had a chance to be wild yet.”

  “I’ve done plenty of wild things,” I protest. Though I’m feeling surprisingly magnanimous as I add, “But thanks for the backup.”

  She beams at me, and for a second I experience a pang of guilt, because I haven’t been the nicest to her over the years. I’m never rude, but my sarcasm can get out of control when dealing with Michelle. In my defense, this chick can go from pleasant to downright unbearable in the blink of an eye. The latter is her usual state of being, the former a rare exception to the rule.

  “Alright. I’ll go first,” Danny announces. “I never…made out with a teacher.”

  He winks at Nick, and the next thing I know, his best friend growls and takes a sip. “What the hell, man,” Nick gripes.

  I swing toward him. “You made out with a teacher? Who? When? Do I know her?”

  “This year,” he admits. “And technically she was a guest lecturer.” He lifts an eyebrow at me. “Jealous?”

  “No, I feel so sorry for her. She probably went home and scoured herself with scalding water, and then curled up crying on the shower floor when she realized the shame can never wash off.”

  “Oh, fuck off.”

  Michelle giggles.

  “Alright, your turn.” Danny prompts Nick with an impatient hand.

  Tracing the lip of his bottle with one finger, Nick ponders it, then says, “I never…broke into my high school after hours and went skinny-dipping in the pool.”

  This time everyone but me drinks.

  And on and on it goes. Public make-out sessions. Danny and Michelle admit to having sex in the other room during a family dinner, which makes me gag. Nick has a bunch of sexual escapades, too. No surprise there.

  I continue to pick tame options, more daredevil acts than sexy ones, and they’ve taken to booing me every time my turn comes around.

  “Come on,” Michelle urges. “Pick something dirty.”

  I scan my memory bank for the dirty deeds in my repertoire. There’s really not much. So I make something up. “I never…hooked up in public and was caught by the cops.”

  I honestly don’t expect anybody to drink, because I’m sure I would’ve heard a story like that before. But my brother surprises us by taking a swig of beer.

  And he’s the only one.

  Very slowly, eerily so, Michelle swivels her head toward him and asks, “Excuse me?”

  “What?” Danny frowns for a second before his face goes a bit pale, as if he realizes his mistake.

  “With who?” his girlfriend demands.

  That’s when I realize whoever this mystery girl he got busted with, it was not Michelle.

  Holy shit. Had he cheated on her?

  Like me, this is exactly where Michelle’s mind goes. “When did this happen?” Her tone is deadly.

  “It was before we started dating, babe. Relax.”

  But that just gets her wheels spinning harder. A deep groove appears in her forehead as she strains to remember all the girls he dated before her.

  “Was it Lauren?” she accuses.

  “No. I told you, Lauren and I never did anything more than kiss.”

  “Then who the hell did you finger-blast in front of the cops?” she shrieks.

  “I didn’t finger-blast anyone,” protests Danny. “We were making out in a park and she might’ve been giving me a hand-job. I was drunk, I can’t remember all the details. Just that the cops showed up and drove us home.”

  “When was this?” Michelle pushes.

  “Daniel,” Nick hedges, a note of warning in his voice. I’m not sure if he’s warning my brother to stay quiet or tell the truth. I suspect it’s the first one.

  “Junior year,” Danny finally replies. “I told you, it was before we started dating.”

  “Do I know her?”

  His eyes flit to the left, a telltale sign he’s trying to come up with a lie. Which just confirms the answer is yes.

  Oh, you stupid bastard.

  Nick and I exchange an uneasy look. I personally have no idea who Danny’s talking about. But Nick probably knows. Those two never keep secrets from each other.

  “Hey, Poodle,” Nick says, scraping back his chair, “why don’t we go down to the dock and look at the stars or something? You can teach me about the constellations. You’re always babbling about those.”

  “When have I ever spoken about constellations?” But I’m already starting to rise from the table.

  “No,” Michelle snaps, and Nick and I freeze. “You two aren’t going anywhere. Not until I find out who Danny hooked up with and was too pussy to tell me about!”

  “Whatever!” Danny blurts out. “It was Jess, okay?”

  I bite back a gasp, forcing myself to appear nonchalant. But Jess? That’s one of the girls in Michelle’s inner circle. He fooled around with one of her friends?

  “It was before you and I ever exchanged a single word. What the hell does it matter?” he says in aggravation.

  Deadly silent, Michelle stands up and then marches toward the back door. A moment later, she disappears into the house.

  Danny spins toward me, accusation blazing in his eyes. “See what you did?”

  “Are you kidding me? I just chose a random thing! Why on earth would you drink if you were trying to cover that up?”

  “Yeah, seriously, dude,” Nick pipes up. “Why would you drink?”

  Without another word, a red-faced Danny storms inside after his girlfriend, leaving me and Nick alone on the deck.

  “Well, that sure was a fun game,” I say brightly.

  That earns me a loud snort from Nick. But then his expression turns, a roguish gleam lighting his eyes. “Who says the game is over?”

  “What’s the point?” I heave a sigh. “I haven’t done anything with my life. I couldn’t even drink on the skinny-dipping one, for fuck’s sake. Apparently I’m the least interesting person on the planet.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. I have a feeling you’ve got a wild streak hiding beneath the surface, Poodle.”

  “Stop calling me that.”

  “I always call you that.” He appears genuinely puzzled that I’d object.

  “Yeah, and I’ve always hated it.” I get up. “Anyway, game’s over. Help me clean up?”

  “Nope.” He stands too, reaching for my arm. “Not until we cross at least one item off the list.”

  The warmth of his fingers seeps into my flesh. I eye him warily, needing to tilt my head because he towers over me with that tall, athlete’s frame. “What list?”

  “The list of things you’ve never done.” His lips curve teasingly. “So now take off your clothes.”


  5

  I gawk at him. “W-what?” I stammer.

  “Take off your clothes,” Nick repeats. “We’re going skinny-dipping.”

  “I am not getting naked with you!”

  But Nick is already in motion. He peels his shirt off and drops it on the deck before waltzing toward the stairs. “You coming?” he calls over his shoulder.

  My curiosity is too strong for me not to follow. Plus, I think he’s drunk and I want to make sure he doesn’t fall into the lake and drown or something. At the bottom of the steps, I find his discarded cargo shorts. On the path toward the dock, I see his boxers.

  I gulp. Oh boy. Is he seriously naked? I can’t see Nick Carmichael naked! It would be too…

  Tempting? a little voice taunts.

  No. Of course not. That’s just crazy talk.

  The first thing I see when I reach the dock is Nick’s bare ass. It’s cast in shadows, but from where I’m standing, it still looks pretty amazing. Tight and muscular and—God, I can’t believe he’s naked.

  “Come on, Poodle. This is your chance.”

  “My chance for what?” I’m picking up his clothes as I walk toward him.

  Nick turns, just briefly, and I catch a shadowy glimpse of his package. It looks…large. My mouth promptly runs dry.

  “It’s your chance to have something to drink to in I Never.” He faces the lake again. “Besides, skinny-dipping is a rite of passage. I mean, you’ve come up here every summer for, what, like nineteen years and you’ve never been skinny-dipping? That’s basically a crime.”

  I laugh. “A crime against who?”

  “The lake,” he retorts, and then he takes a running start and jumps off the dock.

  I yelp, even though I know the water isn’t infested with sharks or anything. Still, there is a snapping turtle that used to live under the dock. What if it’s lurking around?

  Nick is now floating on his back, staring up at the moon. “The water is so nice, Kate. Get in here.”

  I think it’s because he called me Kate. It happens so infrequently. Ninety-five percent of the time, I’m Poodle. Poodle would never cave. But Kate is another story.

  I stare at the water. His body is submerged now. Just his head peeking out, those deep eyes fixed in my direction. That cocky grin.

  I don’t know what compels me to unbutton my shorts. Nick’s gaze doesn’t miss it. He whoops happily. “That’s my girl!” he shouts.

  And oh my God, but my body actually reacts to those words. My girl. No. I’m definitely not his girl, and I shouldn’t be responding to that, and yet my nipples are tingling. Or maybe that’s because I’m in my bra and underwear now and the cold air just hit bare flesh.

  From the water, Nick is laughing at me. Mocking. “Skinny-dipping means naked, Kate,” he calls out.

  “I’m not letting you see me naked,” I call back. “Turn around.”

  I expect him to object or taunt me some more, but he respectfully turns so he’s facing the open lake. Safe from his gaze, I hurriedly unclasp my bra, then wiggle my panties down my legs without questioning my actions. Fuck it. I do want to be able to drink in a game of I Never.

  Before Nick can break the rules, I run down the dock and cannonball into the water. The resulting wave propels him forward and soaks his head.

  He comes up sputtering. “You little brat!”

  I laugh in delight and swim away when he tries to come after me. It doesn’t escape me that I’m naked. Naked and three feet away from Nick Carmichael. And damn it, but my heart is pounding and my body feels a bit weak. That is not right. I blame Chelsea for this. She got in my stupid head by reminding me I used to have a crush on him.

  “See, this isn’t so bad,” he teases.

  No, it’s not. The water is stupidly warm, the heat wave of this past week turning the lake into a glorified bath. Even the night breeze is balmy, humid, but it still feels heavenly against my wet face. Above us, the moon is bright in the black sky. All around us, the lake is quiet.

  “I love it here,” I confess. “This is totally where I want to live after I retire.”

  “What would you do all day?”

  “Paint,” I answer immediately.

  “And at night?” There’s a seductive note in his voice.

  “Also paint.” Then I splash him again before swimming away.

  He swims up beside me, and we tread water in silence for a while, gazing at the stars.

  “Are you excited about college?” he eventually asks.

  “Yes and no. I mean, I’m looking forward to the freedom. Mom’s been so clingy ever since I graduated from Jefferson. I could barely enjoy my gap year because she was always in my face. So, yeah, definitely need the freedom. But I’m not overly interested in some of my gen ed classes. They’re making me take English Lit and Sociology and all that. I wish I could enroll in only art classes.”

  “You’ll be able to next year. You have a roommate?”

  “No, I paid extra for a single.”

  “Lucky you.” He pauses. “Danny’s excited to have you at Southern.”

  I look over wryly. “Yeah, I’m sure he said that.”

  “He did,” Nick insists.

  “Well, I’m sure he won’t be happy when I stop by your house all the time and cock-block him. Force you guys to cook me dinner.”

  Nick laughs. “Cook dinner? Nah. But I’m really good at ordering food.”

  I start to float on my back, only to remember, too late, that I’m naked. The second my breasts peek out of the water, Nick sucks in a breath.

  “Don’t look,” I order.

  “How can I not look? Your tits are right there.”

  “Yeah. So keep your eyes somewhere else.”

  “I’ll show you my dick.”

  Laughter lodges in my throat. I try to choke it down, but a wave of it shudders out. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you just offered that. Why?”

  “I thought it might make you feel better because I saw your tits.”

  “No, what would make me feel better is if you said, Sorry I was leering at you, Kate.” I splash him.

  He splashes back. “Why would I apologize for something I’m not sorry for?”

  “You’re the worst.”

  “No, I’m not.” He swims closer.

  We’re treading water again, eyeing each other. I realize it’s the first time in ages that we’ve hung out alone, without Danny. I mean, we’ve been alone before. But never naked in the middle of the lake.

  My pulse quickens when I notice he’s staring at my mouth. Is he thinking about kissing me? Oh no. Now I’m thinking about kissing him. The droplets clinging to his bottom lip are like a magnet trying to pull me toward his mouth.

  Which is my cue to get out of this water.

  “This was fun!” I say, far too brightly. “We should do it again sometime.” Then I tear my gaze off his delectable lips and swim toward the ladder.

  “Or we can keep doing it now,” he calls after me.

  “I’m tired. It’s been a long day. The flight, being in the sun all day, drinking tonight. I’m gonna turn in.” It’s a lie. I’m not tired at all. I’m exhilarated.

  I hear the water ripple when I reach the ladder, and I know he’s right behind me.

  “Don’t look at my butt when I get out,” I order, glancing over my shoulder.

  “Yeah, I’m not making that promise.” He’s grinning at me.

  I climb up and pretend I don’t feel his heated gaze on my bare flesh. On the dock, I scramble for my clothes and throw my shorts and top on over my wet body, then pick up my underwear and bra. The cedar planks creak as Nick hops off the ladder.

  “I put your clothes on the chair,” I say without turning around.

  “Thanks, Poodle.”

  I’m back to being Poodle. But I suppose that’s a good thing. It’s easier to keep my distance when he calls me that. Easier to remind myself that he’s a cocky jerk who gets off on making fun of me.

  But I can’t deny t
hat I really enjoyed those moments, out in the dark lake, when I was just Kate.

  6

  The late-night skinny-dipping does the unexpected job of turning me and Nick into allies. The following day, it’s us against Danny and Michelle, who are arguing from the second they open their eyes. She’s still outraged that he hooked up with one of her friends, despite the fact he hadn’t even known Michelle’s name at that point in time. To his credit, Danny has stopped apologizing. When he and I were making omelets this morning, he told me he’d spent all night groveling, telling her how wrong he was, that he should’ve been honest and told her, yada yada. Now, in the light of day, after hours of her rude comments and stormy glares, he’s clearly had enough.

  We’re out on the boat, just cruising the lake, when I hear my brother explode, a stream of curses leaving his mouth.

  “For fuck’s sake, Michelle, would you shut the fuck up about this already? How many more fucking times can I apologize?”

  A stunned silence falls over the boat. Nick and I exchange a look. Oh yeah. Danny’s reached the end of his rope. Only took him three years, but hey. Better late than never.

  “I can’t believe you just said that to me.” Michelle’s eyes are blazing.

  “Yeah, well, I can’t believe you’re holding this against me. It’s not like you were some virginal angel before we met. You had a ton of boyfriends.”

  “None of them were your friends! And I didn’t lie about dating them!”

  “I didn’t lie about anything! It was a stupid drunken night. Hell, I pretty much forgot about it until last night!”

  “I don’t believe you!”

  They start up again.

  “Hey, you know what,” I call toward the helm, “why don’t we head back to the house?”

  “Yeah,” Nick agrees solemnly, brown eyes twinkling. “I don’t know if open water is the best place for us to be right now.”

  “Shut up,” Michelle snaps at him.