Bleed Blue 69: Twenty-Five Authors…One Sexy Police Station Page 6

  “God, Luke, no! He said I was too friendly with your brother and Celeste.”

  Fuck. This was my fault. I’d taken Sierra on a trip with Scott and his girlfriend. Before that, they’d just been tenants she knew from the building. Now, she and Celeste hung out quite a bit.

  “He gave me forty-eight hours to put down a first and last month’s rent or find somewhere else to live.” She sniffed. “I don’t have that kind of money.”

  One of the perks of managing the property was that she got to live there on the cheap, but the building was expensive, and for Sierra, I knew being jobless would also mean being homeless.

  I churned through the possibilities. “What about Celeste’s place? She isn’t living there.”

  Sierra’s frown deepened and a few tears slipped down her face.

  God, she thought I didn’t want her here. Double fuck.

  Never in six months had I ever seen Sierra cry. She was a drama-free zone, one of those eternally happy women who saw the bright side in everything. So the fact that her eyes were leaking was a serious problem for both of us. Even if I was still shell-shocked from the bomb she’d just laid on me.

  I opened my arms to her. “Come here. Let’s figure it out together.”

  She crossed the small room, and I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled us both down onto the couch, her onto my lap. She nestled her head into the crook of my neck and sighed.

  I slid my hand over her ass and swatted it. “Why didn’t you call me and tell me?”

  Warn me, I wanted to say.

  She flinched and giggled. “Scott said I should surprise you. I don’t know why I listened to him. I knew this was a bad idea.”

  I would kill him later. Tomorrow, there’d be no hiding from me.

  “They feel awful about it. They helped me pack up the apartment, and your brother hired movers to help load it all. They also cancelled their flights and drove here with me. Your brother is a saint. There’s no way I could’ve driven that truck by myself.”

  The hell he was. He was probably thoroughly enjoying this. “Where are they now?”

  She twisted in my lap so that she was straddling me. “Your parents’ house. I thought it best if I told you alone.” The waterworks had stopped, but there were still tearstains down her cheeks. I traced them with my thumbs, trying to erase them.

  God, she was gorgeous. Would coming home to her everyday be such a bad thing?

  “Look, I know it’s sudden, and we’ve never talked about anything like this, but when I was thinking about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, all I could come up with was you.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and watched me for a reaction.

  I slid one hand around the back of her neck. “I want to do you too.”

  The orange flecks in her hazel eyes blazed, and when she brushed her mouth against mine, every unspoken emotion coursed between us. It had been three long weeks since I’d touched her, three weeks since I’d felt her against me. She parted her lips, and I slipped my tongue inside, tasting the heady mix of her hopeful optimism and my shadowed uncertainty. We’d had twenty-one days of lost moments, and she kissed me like she wanted them all back. I missed you, her kiss said.

  I slid my hands under ass and stood from the couch. I carried her through the apartment without breaking our connection. By her frantic hands or mine, our clothes miraculously disappeared. The room was lit only by a streetlight outside, but I didn’t need it to see. I knew my way around her body. Knew exactly how to make her sigh, moan, and scream my name. I wanted to hear every one of those sounds and the hundreds of others that had become so familiar to me.

  “I want more,” she panted as I laid her down on the bed.

  I studied her shadowed face and ran my finger across her lips, down the line of her neck, and across her breast. “How much more?” I asked, as my lips followed the same path my finger had blazed.

  “All of you. Is that too much to ask?”

  I hovered over her, wanting to tuck her inside my arms and protect her from her own desires. She was sunshine and all that was right in the world. Her voice on the phone, her sweet text messages, they were what got me out of bed every day and pulled me through a shift. But what she was asking was impossible. The life I lived would ruin her. I’d seen it happen too many times.

  My head dipped so she couldn’t see the fear in my eyes. There were so many things I couldn’t control, but I shoved thoughts of them away as I kissed another trail across her taut stomach. Because this—I was good at. Here, I could give her everything she wanted.

  I slipped a finger inside her warm center, and she gasped as she always did at the first touch. Her fingers clawed at my shoulders and then found their way into my hair. Her legs fell wide, and she pushed against my head, making her wishes clear.

  She panted my name as I nestled my face between her legs and got that first addictive taste of her. As it always did, it would stay with me through the whole weekend and keep me coming back for more. Would it always be like this? If the weekend became next week and then next week became next month, would we still feel this way?

  Her body, so familiar against my lips and my fingers, hummed beneath me. Her back arched, her legs quivered, and my heart swelled.

  Together like this, we were perfection.

  “I need you,” she said, her hands grabbing the air like she was drowning.

  I slid up her body and nestled my length against her center.

  “Yesssss,” I groaned as I pushed inside her. Yes, she felt amazing? Yes, she felt more like home? Yes, I wanted her to stay? I didn’t pause to decide what it meant as her body shuddered and her walls clenched around me. I let her pull me to the edge. My name falling from her lips was all I needed to jump off with her.

  Freshly showered, we were back on the couch. A half empty pizza box rested on the coffee table, along with less than a half full bottle of wine and three empty beer bottles. Wisely, Sierra had been easing us into the conversation ahead.

  “I know this is unexpected,” she began. “I thought I could stay here for a few days while I find a job and a place of my own. But if you’re not ready for this, I totally understand. I do have a plan B.” Her chin tipped up, and her eyes sported their usual optimistic glint. “My parents are down in Connecticut now. I can always stay there until I get my shit sorted out.”

  This was my Sierra. Even if she wasn’t asking for what she really wanted, she sounded more like herself again.

  I put another empty beer bottle down on the coffee table and addressed the real question in her head. “Have you thought about what moving in together would really be like? I mean, really thought about it?”

  Her eyebrows rose. The nod of her head was slow but deliberate. “Of course, I have.”

  I turned to face her and took her hand. “You don’t know what you’re asking for. Every day when I walk out this door, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I might not walk through it again. That’s my reality, and it becomes more of a truth every single day. You’ve seen what’s going on out there. My job has never been more dangerous. I don’t want that for you. I can’t kiss you goodbye in the morning, knowing it will break your heart if I can’t come back to you that night.”

  Her mouth opened and closed again. She looked away, and when she met my eyes again hers were full of fire. “You think just because I’m twelve hundred miles away, that’s not my reality too? That when you fall asleep after you get home without calling me first, I don’t play out every awful possibility in my head? Do you actually believe that just because you don’t kiss me goodbye in the morning, it won’t hurt if you die out there?”

  She set her wine glass down on the coffee table and stood up. “Well, fuck you, Luke Russell. That’s not how it works.” She stomped to the bedroom and, as if it was already her own, slammed the door behind her. The entire apartment seemed to shake, but I was the one who was rocked.

  “So tell us how you met.” There’d been hearts in my ma’s eye
s ever since we’d walked through the front door. I could practically see the visions of weddings, babies, and birthday parties dancing through her head.

  Stuffed full of turkey and fixings, we were relaxing around my parents’ dining room table, enjoying a few quiet moments before the chaos hit. Thanksgiving was a two-part show at our house—the first part being a smaller, more private affair that included lunch with just our immediate family, and the second being absolute mayhem when most of the state would show up, claiming to be related to us in one way or another. It would be loud and obnoxious, and if I didn’t sneak Sierra out before things got out of hand, she’d be fleeing for Connecticut for sure.

  “I’m the manager of the building Scott lives in.” Sierra’s lips pressed into a flat line, but a nanosecond later she shrugged and smiled. “Well, I was anyway. I met Luke when he came to town to try and convince Scott to move back here.” Sierra and Celeste shared a knowing look.

  “Scott was MIA when I got there and wasn’t answering his phone,” I said, glaring at my brother.

  Everything that had happened in Chicago was water under the bridge, but I was still pissed at him for not telling me Sierra was moving to town. We’d already had it out once this morning, though I’d made sure she hadn’t heard any of it.

  “Hey, I was dealing with a lot of crazy shit at the time.” The second the words were out of Scott’s mouth, Celeste’s head dipped and his face twisted in regret.

  My brother, a detective from Chicago, was an analytical and cautious man. He thought he had people pretty much figured out. That is, until he met Celeste. She’d tested everything he thought he knew about human nature, including his own. Scott had a deep-rooted need to protect women from harm and Celeste coming into his life was like pouring gas on a fire.

  I looked at Sierra. Maybe, there really is someone for everyone.

  She shot me a pained look and continued her story. “I found Luke loitering in the lobby like a homeless man. I probably would’ve kicked him out if I hadn’t immediately known who he belonged to.” She received a round of nods from the table. From head to toe, I was practically a carbon copy of my older brother.

  “When I offered to let him into Scott’s apartment, he suggested getting drinks instead.” She smiled conspiratorially. “He’s an incredibly hard man to say no to.”

  I was glad she was giving them the PG version. In the full version, we’d barely gotten past the tops of our beers before we’d gone at it like wild animals. On the kitchen counter. Up against the wall in the living room. Her bedroom. The shower. By the next morning, I’d had her on practically every surface of that apartment, including the breakfast table where she’d served me chicken and waffles with another side of Sierra.

  “Russell men are relentless when they want something,” Ma said. She reached over and squeezed my dad’s hand.

  My sister, Sophie, forked herself a bite of pumpkin pie and pointed at me with it. “I can’t believe you got this asshole to settle down. I never thought I’d see the day.”

  Ma turned her death-ray glare on her. She was probably afraid Sophie was going to say something that would scare Sierra away and ruin the whole white wedding dream she was having. If someone didn’t silence Sophie quick, it was a very real possibility.

  I swallowed a bite of pecan pie and accepted the challenge. “She’s moving in with me.”

  Sophie’s fork clattered against her plate, and silence descended over the room. The expression on Ma’s face was probably worth a million dollars, but I only had eyes for Sierra. Her mouth opened and closed before spreading into a wide grin.

  She sat up straighter in her chair. “Really?” she silently mouthed.

  I swiveled in my seat to face her and spoke to the room, though my eyes never left her. “Can you believe this beautiful and otherwise seemingly intelligent woman actually wants to live with me?” I asked.

  “No,” my sister blurted.

  Sierra’s head bobbed in excitement, and I leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Let’s get out of here so we can christen our apartment.”

  My eighty-two-year-old grandpa, who’d been pretending to be deaf since 1992, chimed in, “In my day, you had to marry the cow to get the milk. They say that these younger generations are lazy idiots, but I think you’ve got it all figured out.”

  My grandmother smacked him on the arm. “Anis Russell! Keep it up, and you’ll not be getting any milk from this cow.”

  He held up his glass of milk. “But I just took my blue pill.”

  My pop’s face turned ashen and contorted in revulsion. He stared at his parents as if he might throw up his entire Thanksgiving meal right there on my ma’s antique tablecloth.

  As if the room wasn’t already in a state of complete anarchy, it was then that the chaos hit. My cell phone pinged an incoming text message and then began immediately ringing from an incoming call. I barely heard the doorbell over the noise coming from my pocket.

  “I’ll get the door,” Sophie said, getting up.

  I decided to let the call go to voice mail and deal with the text first since I knew from the ringtone that it was from Sean. Nothing good could come from a phone call on my day off.

  I’m sick as a dog. I swear there was something in those deviled eggs yesterday. Beware, Lieutenant Carlson is calling in reinforcements because half the crew is down.

  I groaned. So much for taking Sierra home and spending the afternoon doing to my apartment what we’d done to hers the night we’d met. As soon as I listened to that voice mail, my day would be ruined. I’d have no choice but to leave her here with my crazy-ass family and hope she survived the day.

  “I’m getting called in,” I muttered.

  “Now?” she asked, her voice heavy with disappointment. “But it’s a holiday.”

  I put my phone to my ear. I was only halfway listening to Carlson’s message as I answered her. “Doesn’t matter. Apparently, half of today’s day shift came down with food poisoning. Bad deviled eggs.”

  “I can relate,” my dad grumbled under his breath.

  I pushed my chair away from the table and reached for Sierra’s hand. “Doll, this is part of what I was talking about last night. Things happen. It doesn’t matter if it’s a holiday or an anniversary or the middle of the night. If they call, I’m going in.” I glanced at my watch and did some quick math. “Walk me out? Shift change is at five, so I shouldn’t be gone more than five hours.”

  I watched her swallow her panic down, stifling it as she tried to put on a brave face and prove she could deal with this new wrinkle in the life she thought she wanted. Unfortunately, this was just the first of many wrinkles she’d have to endure if she wanted us to work out.

  We rounded the corner from the dining room to the entryway and came face-to-face with the next one. My sister’s four kids were doing laps around her, two dressed as Indians and two dressed as pilgrims. My mom was holding an infant car seat in her arms, and Sophie was leaning over it cooing in a voice that didn’t match the words, “Oh, my God. He’s going to lose his fucking mind. And of all the horrific timing—I always knew Vanessa Cappadonna was a dirty fucking whore.”

  “You watch your language, Sophie Russell. Maybe it’s not Luke’s.”

  I stopped midstep, and Sierra jolted to a stop beside me.

  “Look at those eyes, Ma! That dark hair. If it’s not Luke’s then that one’s not mine!” Sophie pointed at her youngest daughter.

  Maggie held a spatula in the air like a tomahawk. “Get back here, you fucking tyrant pilgrim!” she screamed.

  My sister looked at our mother wearing her See? What did I tell you? face. She waved a piece of paper in the air. “Just read this!”

  “Read what?” I asked. The two words rolled out of me and reverberated through the room like a death toll.

  Sierra slipped her hand out of mine, and the other two women’s heads swiveled our way in what seemed like slow motion.

  “Surprise?” Sophie said in an unusually timid voice. “Vane
ssa Cappadonna left you a present on the doorstep. It came with a gift tag.”

  I snatched the piece of paper out of her hand. A yellow sticky note was stuck to an ominously official-looking document.

  Luke, I can’t do it. He’s absolutely perfect in every way and deserves more than I can give him. He deserves you. I’m sorry. - Vanessa

  All of the air in my lungs whooshed out on a single exhale as I scanned the contents of the document.

  Lucien Nathanial Russell, Jr.

  My eyes met the baby’s and, as if he knew that his entire future hinged on that very moment, he blinked his icy blues at me and smiled. A matching dimple appeared in each one of his cherubic cheeks, and I didn’t know whether to melt or to combust. Even without the documents, there was no denying whose child he was.

  How could Vanessa name him after me but not even bother to make a phone call to tell me about him in the first place?

  “What’s going on, Luke?” Sierra’s voice was as shaky as my own breathing.

  I tore my eyes away from the baby and met hers. I reached for her arm, but she jerked it away. “Is it yours?” she asked.

  I shrugged. How could I answer that?

  She snatched the birth certificate from my hand and scanned it before thrusting it back at me. “Did you know about him?”

  “Not until now.”

  She stepped around me, careful not to get too close, and grabbed her coat from the rack next to the door and her purse from the floor. Silently, she pulled on her coat, wrapped her arms around her waist, and hugged herself. Her eyes fell on the baby, and I could see each of my own emotions in them. Disbelief. Hurt. Anger. Confusion. Disappointment. She sighed and reached for the door. “Don’t follow me, Luke. You have enough to deal with.”

  The door had barely clicked shut before Sophie reached for her own coat. “I’ll go talk to her. You need to call Vanessa and get this straightened out.”

  I shook my head. “Are you deaf? She said she wants to be alone.”

  Sophie’s eyes narrowed, and her lips curled in disgust. “Are you stupid? No woman wants to be alone after a bomb like this. It’s just you she doesn’t want.” The words sliced through me like a knife.