Mistletoe & Kisses Page 19

  His mother and stepdad, along with his little sister Trinity, are some of the kindest people I’ve ever met. It baffles me Jase can be such a jackass, when his sister is the total opposite of him. She’s a straight-A honor roll student on the fast track to graduating as Valedictorian of her school.

  I’ve decided I’m going to do what my grandmother Rosie always said to do. I’m going to live in the moment and stop putting off my dreams. So this morning, I walked into work, told Gia I loved her and that once my salon is up and running to give me a call, because I’d love to have her as my partner-in-crime one head at a time, and then told Bitch Boss I quit before dramatically storming out of the salon.

  Now, I’m driving my car to my OB-GYN’s office for my big ultrasound appointment. Today, I find out if I’m having a boy or girl. Of course Jase isn’t with me. I sent him a text this morning reminding him, and he wrote me back with some bullshit excuse that he couldn’t get the afternoon off, which I know is a lie, because his boss, Pauly, is one of the nicest guys I know and would’ve given him the afternoon off to come find out the sex of our baby. Since we’re not together right now, he couldn’t care less. It’s heartbreaking knowing he doesn’t care about this child.

  He works as a mechanic, and this is the longest job he’s ever held. He’s worked for Pauly’s shop for a little over a year. Every other job he’s quit, because he couldn’t get along with his boss, or was fired, because he stayed out partying all night and then didn’t show up to work the next day without bothering to call in.

  I always made up excuses for him to Ella. I’d say he was young and would grow up some day. It’s now been two years and he’s yet to grow up. I don’t think he ever will. So I’m finally getting to my wit’s end, which leads me to the next decision I’ve made. This year, I’m finally taking my aunt up on her offer and spending Christmas with her at her bed and breakfast. I think getting away from Jase is exactly what I need to clear my head. We’ve been apart two months now, and it’s the longest we’ve not been together. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t showed up on my doorstep a few times drunk off his ass and wanting to stay the night.

  I’m done being used. Unless he’s ready to stop being a douchebag and be the boyfriend I deserve and the father my baby deserves, then my vagina is off-limits. It’s taken me two years of his bullshit to finally say enough is enough. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones turning me into a headstrong bitch. Who knows? All I know is his face when I told him to go bother someone else was priceless.

  Chapter Two

  I PULL INTOthe parking lot of my doctor’s office ten minutes early for the first time ever. Traffic is normally a bitch in the afternoon, and my appointments usually start with me rushing into the waiting room ten minutes late, so things are looking up today.

  Thankfully, I don’t have to wait very long before a nurse calls me back to use the bathroom and to check my weight and blood pressure. I only gained one pound since my last visit and my blood pressure perfect. I’m naturally petite, so even at twenty weeks, you can barely tell I’m pregnant. I can tell, because my jeans are getting tighter, but anyone else who doesn’t see me every day wouldn’t even notice.

  After a fifteen minute wait in the waiting room, I’m called by the nurse to head down to the ultrasound room. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I hate that I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes watching the door waiting to see if Jase will show up. Like usual, I put my hopes into him finally doing something right, just to be disappointed.

  “You can lie back and the ultrasound technician will be right in.” The nurse in her brightly colored scrubs gives me a soft smile before leaving the room.

  I stare at the ceiling for ten minutes before the technician finally comes in. Now that I’ve laid here with nothing to do but think about the baby and Jase, I’m finding myself growing more and more anxious and emotional. This is a huge moment, and he’s missing it.

  I blink back tears that are welling up in my eyes as I hold my hands over my belly. I watch her walk in, turn on the screen, and flick the lights off. “Good afternoon, Miss Greenwood. So are you ready to see your little baby? Are you finding out the sex today?” she asks as she gets to work setting everything up.

  I swallow hard as I try to wet my mouth that suddenly feels parched. I nod gently. “Yes, as long as my little peanut cooperates, I’d love to find out what I’m having.”

  “Wonderful. If you can lift your shirt and push your pants below your hips, we’ll see if your nursery will be blue or pink.”

  I shimmy my yoga pants down slightly and pull up my shirt, fisting it in my fingers, resting them beneath my breasts.

  “This will be slightly cold,” she tells me as she shakes a bottle upside down and squirts jell below my belly button.

  “Ohh darn, that’s cold!” I shriek. No matter how many times they do that, the shock never lessens. It’s cold as hell, even sitting on a warmer.

  “Sorry.” She laughs as she sets the bottle back in its warmer and grabs the wand. The second she presses it against my belly and begins sliding it over my lower stomach, the familiar swooshing sound that is my baby’s heartbeat fills the room. Every time I hear it, I swear my own heart stops and starts again.

  I watch the monitor as the baby’s head and upper body appear on the screen. The technician goes to work taking measurements. “Everything is looking great. Your baby is growing perfectly and is measuring right up to date. Now for the fun part…let’s see if we can get her or him to sit still long enough for us to see what you’re having.”

  Reminding myself to keep breathing, I watch the screen as I feel her moving the wand around my stomach. What appears to be two legs show up on the screen, but I don’t know what is showing up between them. It all looks like a big blob to me. I have no idea what I’m looking at.

  She begins to draw a circle using the mouse’s pointer on the screen and beams at me. “You see this here?” she asks, pointing at the center of the circle. I have no idea what I am seeing, but I nod anyways. “You’re going to be a wonderful mommy to a beautiful baby girl.”

  A girl.

  I’m having a girl? I’ve dreamt of having a baby girl to dress up and do her hair and nails while having tea parties and playing princesses with her. I would love a boy too. I only truly care that she’s healthy and right on track, but I can’t deny I’m screaming with excitement on the inside, while tears are filling my eyes once again on the outside.

  Tears of both happiness and sadness slide down the side of my face as my heart breaks. This is not how I imagined my life would be. Right now, Jase should be sitting by my side holding my hand and celebrating with me, excited about the idea of having a little girl—a beautiful little daddy’s girl.

  Instead, I’m lying here by myself.

  The nurse prints me out some photos to bring home with me before I head out to the receptionist and schedule my next appointment for four weeks away. Today is December 20th, and I cannot believe the next time I come to the doctors it’ll be 2015. Hopefully, 2015 will be a better year than 2014. One thing that’ll make it amazing is my baby girl will be born.

  I slip into the driver’s seat of my Sonata and send a quick text to Jase just telling him he’s going to be a daddy to a baby girl, and then I snap a picture of the ultrasound photo and send it to him. I wish sometimes I could be a heartless bitch and treat him like he treats me, but I can’t. Not waiting to see if he responds—more than likely he won’t for a few hours, since he’s working right now—I text Gia. She should just be getting done at the salon and heading to my house.

  She’s supposed to come help me pack. I plan on staying at my aunt’s place until after Christmas, and then come home and ring in 2015 with Gia. It’ll be my last New Year’s party before I become a mom. Sure, I can’t drink, but I’ll still be able to dance my butt off and have a good time.

  Me:

  Here’s a pic of my lil peanut. I’ll tell u the big news once u get to my house ;)

  Gia wastes no time te
xting me back. She’s been just as excited as I’ve been to find out the sex of the baby.

  Gia:

  OMG! Are you seriously trying to torture me?! I’m on my way 2 ur place now!

  Twenty minutes later, I’m pulling into my driveway and spot Gia’s Prius. She’s all for alternative energy and electric cars. Her motto is ‘saving the planet, one hybrid car at a time’. She makes me laugh out loud when she gets into one of her ‘we need to work on saving the planet’ rants. My aunt loves getting her riled up, telling her how her mother’s generation is to blame for our global warming thanks to her and her friends using a bottle a day of Aqua Net on their hair.

  Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for preserving the land we live on, especially now that I’m bringing a child into the world, but I am nowhere near as neurotic about it as she is. I still don’t understand why she got a degree in cosmetology if her heart is into saving the environment. But that is why she is my best friend, because she has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known.

  She’s sitting on my deck and jumps to her feet, bouncing with excitement. “Finally! It feels like I’ve been sitting here waiting for hours.”

  Rolling my eyes, I slam my driver’s side door closed and sling my purse over my shoulder. I dig out an ultrasound picture as I make my way up the driveway. “It’s only been twenty minutes. You’re lucky it wasn’t longer. I swear I hit every red light on my way home.”

  Gia is unable to contain her excitement and sprints down the stairs with her hands out in front of her, waving them around, grasping at air, and shrieking as she meets me halfway. I can’t help but laugh at her. I’m surprised the entire neighborhood isn’t staring at us like we’ve lost our damn minds. “You’re killing me, woman! Hurry up and spill the beans! Am I going to be an auntie to a little boy or girl?!”

  I hand her the ultrasound picture that shows my little one is in fact a girl, and she spins the photo a few times and purses her lips as her eyes slide from the picture and land on mine. She looks completely confused, which I can so understand, because I had zero clue what I was looking at earlier either. “I have no damn clue what it is I’m looking for. Help a sister out. So is it a girl or boy?”

  I point at the photo. “See? No ball sack and little tootsie roll, just a hotdog bun…I’M HAVING A GIRL!” I can’t contain my excitement any longer, and now I’m screaming with excitement right along with Gia. We’re hugging each other and both shouting, “Oh. My. God!”

  It takes us a good thirty minutes to come down from the high we’re riding. She’s been my best friend since the third grade, and we both agreed we’d need to have girls first when we ever had babies so we could make them be little besties like us. Gia has a one-year-old little girl named Aaliyah, who is the most adorable child on the planet. It’s funny she named her that, seeing as Gia is the spitting image of the late R&B singer, and her daughter is definitely a mini-me of her mommy.

  Gia stays for another hour, helps me get my suitcases packed, and then loads them into my car. It was hard, but we were able to say goodbye without crying. I told her the excitement of New Year’s will only magnify with us being apart during Christmas. Her mother is babysitting Aaliyah for her and her fiancé, Deacon, so they can go out with me. It was supposed to be a couple’s thing, but with Jase and me not talking, it’s looking like I’ll be flying solo that night.

  This is the longest we’ve been apart, and I can’t help but fear that this time it’s permanent. I hate myself for wishing he’d come back and try to make things work, because we’ve done this little dance one too many times, and each time ends with me heartbroken. But he is the father of my baby, so I feel like I owe it to her to try and give her a family with both parents.

  Some time away is exactly what I need. Maybe leaving for a few weeks will help Jase realize what he’s throwing away too. I hear that familiar voice in the back of my mind telling me I’m making wishes that are unreachable. Maybe I am. I hope talking to Ella will help me see things from another perspective and make it easier to decide what it is I need to do.

  Chapter Three

  IN LESS THAN an hour, I’m pulling off of the highway and entering the small quaint town. After about five minutes of driving through town, my navigation has me turn onto a one-way winding side road that is surrounded by trees. The further I drive, the thicker the forest becomes, and finally, I can see the lake coming into view and a large A-frame log house.

  At the end of the road is a wide parking lot with a sign made out of a large, round piece of a tree trunk that says ‘Welcome to Greenwood’s Bed & Breakfast’, with a pine tree branch carved underneath it painted hunter green. It’s beautiful and rustic, and with the lake only a few feet away, I can see why Ella loves living here. It’s a drastic change from living in Albany.

  There are two SUVs parked beside my aunt’s Subaru when I pull in and park in a spot close to the large porch. The less distance I have to lug my suitcases in, the better.

  When I called her the other day letting her know I’d be coming for Christmas, she told me she had two other reservations for the holidays and had two more rooms vacant. It never occurred to me if I told her last minute I’d be coming that there was a chance I wouldn’t have a room. The last thing I wanted to do was spend Christmas alone. I put my grandmother’s old artificial tree up after Thanksgiving and decorated the fireplace with her antique glass village, but it isn’t Christmas without spending it with people you care about.

  Before I left, Gia and I exchanged gifts. I had hers and Ella’s wrapped under my tree. I also had a little gift for Aaliyah, but Gia said she’d save it for Christmas Eve and let her open it then. Her face lit up when she saw I’d gotten her a gift card to Sally’s Beauty Supply. She loves all their hair accessories. We hairstylists are like kids in a candy store in that place.

  I loved my new coffee mug she got me. It had scissors and my name on it in a cute cursive font. Of course she knows the fastest way to my heart is coffee, so she gave me a little gift bag with a box of decaf Starbucks K-cups in it.

  Hopefully, once I come back from my aunt’s, I can start looking into finding a spot to open my own shop. It is going to be a lot of work, but I think I’ll be a lot happier running my own salon. Once I get it established, I hope Gia will join me in running it.

  But for the next two weeks, I’m not worrying about anything. I’m going to relax and enjoy my time here in this quiet snowy town, enjoying the drama-free time before I have to go back to my real life.

  Snow is gently falling as I step out of my car. I can feel it crunching under my Ugg boots as I make my way around to my trunk. It’s a lot colder than it was this afternoon now that the sun has set. That’s one thing I hate about December; it gets dark around five o’clock now.

  I left my house around six and stopped by a McDonald’s to grab something to eat before jumping on the interstate. I hate driving in the snow, so I was relieved it was only lightly snowing the entire drive and that the roads weren’t frozen over, since it’s forty-two degrees outside right now.

  The entire parking area is lit up brightly by spotlights, and the porch is glowing a soft yellow from two antique-style lanterns hanging on each side of the large door. The door is the same wood as the rest of the log house, but with a large frosted glass window etched with a deer standing in a meadow and mountains behind it off in the distance. It is beautiful. The entire house is. I can’t wait to see the inside in person. I’ve only seen it in photos Ella has on her website and Facebook.

  With my two suitcases in my hands, I march up to the house, trudging through the snow, and stomp my way up the stairs. I drop each suitcase down beside me and swing the door open. The instant the door opens, it smells like fresh baked apple pie and pine needles.

  It smells amazing, and my stomach grumbles as the scent of the pie tickles my nose. Ever since I hit my second trimester, food has become my best friend. I lost five pounds in my first trimester because I had morning, afternoon, and evening sickness. I do
n’t know why they call it morning sickness, because I spent every waking moment nauseous and nibbling on crackers.

  “Ella?” I shout from the doorway as I grab the handles of my bags and wheel them into the house. I park them under the hanging coat rack and glance around. The room is lit by a large chandelier made out of deer antlers, and there’s a floor-to-ceiling stone fireplace on the far right wall with a roaring fire going. Beside it is a tall Christmas tree that looks easily eight feet tall. Beside the tree is a log staircase leading upstairs. There are railings that wrap along a hallway at the top of the staircase, and a bunch of doors are visible.

  Ella said there are four bedrooms upstairs. One is hers, and the other three are for guests, each with their own personal bathroom. She told me she’s had the entire basement fully renovated into a game room for families with kids.

  The front door enters into a family room. The entire downstairs is made up of a wide open floor plan. To the right, in front of the fireplace, is a very large brown leather sectional and rustic-looking end tables with legs made from tree branches.

  Off to the left is a check-in area with a small desk and computer that are sitting beside a pair of glass doors leading out onto the deck, which overlooks the water. Straight ahead is a long wooden dining table with bench seating on each side, and a runner along the center of the table featuring a beautiful Christmas-colored floral vase.

  I walk towards the dining area and hear Christmas music faintly coming from a room off to the left side of the house. Even though most of the downstairs is wide open, the kitchen is separated from everything. There’s a large archway that leads into the kitchen. As I make my way through the archway, I spot Ella removing a pie from the oven as her hips swing back and forth to the music blasting from her iPod resting in the dock on the island.

  “Nice moves.”