Torquere Press Sips and Shots Page 11

  Laura emitted a soft moan. “Fuck, I love it that you wear stockings.” She eased her fingers inside the elasticized top and teased the skin of Grace’s thigh. Grace shuddered and pressed her thighs together. A wave of pleasure swept over her and she felt herself grow moist.

  “Do we have time for you to give me my present?” Laura’s and traveled up Grace’s thigh and cupped her through her panties.

  Grace gasped. “D-didn’t I already give you your present?” She gestured vaguely at the Celtic bracelet encircling Laura’s wrist.

  “And I love it,” Laura replied, flicking a nail over Grace’s taut nipple through her dress. “But that’s the one I get to show off in public.”

  “The other?” Grace pushed her hips into Laura’s hand.

  Laura dipped one finger too briefly into Grace before withdrawing it again. “The other involves you, me and a pair of latex gloves.”

  The moment broken, Grace snorted and pushed away. She smacked Laura lightly on the arm. “You are such a pervert.”

  The doorbell rang then and Laura waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “So, we’ll take a raincheck on that, then?”

  Grace bumped their hips as she passed Laura. “Keep dreaming, Birthday Girl.”

  * * *

  For the next three hours, Grace was barely able to snatch a moment alone with Laura. Grace watched her lover move through the crowd of their gathered friends, almost glowing at the attention, proudly introducing Sarah around.

  Late in the evening, the party spilled out into the garden. Lanterns were lit and soft music drifted from speakers placed on the back porch.

  Grace watched the couples on the dance floor, smiling at Jamie and his partner Nick moving together, holding each other close. They had only recently reunited after a long separation and seemed content to spend all their time in their own secluded little world.

  Grace felt her hips begin to sway to the music. She jumped when she felt hands on her hips, but even without looking, she knew it was Laura.

  “How about a dance for the birthday girl?” Laura wound her arms around Grace’s waist, pushed her hips into Grace’s ass.

  “I thought you’d never ask.” Grace took one of Laura’s hands and led her out onto the grass.

  They danced together to a couple of slow songs, then threw off their shoes and kicked up their heels to a few upbeat numbers.

  A little out of breath, Grace excused herself and went to the kitchen to get the huge chocolate birthday cake. She put thirty candles on it and got Jamie and Nick to carry it out to the garden.

  Laura blushed endearingly as their friends sang “Happy Birthday.” Grace sang as loudly as everyone else, but her voice trailed off when her eyes found Sarah in the crowd. Sarah was at the other side of the garden, sitting on a bench. Even in the darkness, lit only by the paper lanterns, Grace could tell that the woman was pale. Her shoulders were slumped and her chest was moving with the deep breaths she was taking. At the second Grace took her first step forward, Sarah raised her head and looked Grace right in the eye. Sarah glanced briefly at Laura, then back to Grace, and gave a sharp shake of her head. Grace hesitated before nodding in return.

  Grace stood by Laura’s side as she cut the cake, smiling and cheering along with everyone else, but the first chance she got she headed over to Sarah.

  Sarah was looking gray, and there were white lines bracketing her mouth, indicating that she was in pain.

  “It wasn’t the wine, was it? That night you were sick.” Grace looked intently at Sarah.

  Sarah’s eyes closed. She suddenly looked ten years older. “Not tonight, please. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Her eyes implored. “Let her have good memories of tonight.”

  Grace could only agree. “You should go inside and lie down for a while. If Laura sees you like this she’ll know something’s wrong.”

  With a nod, Sarah started to stand. “If you could just...”

  As discreetly as possible, Grace helped Sarah into the house and up to the guest bedroom, where she settled her on the bed.

  “Can I get you anything?” Grace asked, reluctant to leave Sarah like this.

  “If you could get me a glass of water, please?” Sarah reached into the drawer in the nightstand and took out a pill bottle.

  Grace wanted to ask questions, but knew that this was not the time. She left the bedroom, got a glass of water and returned. She handed the glass to Sarah and waited while she took the pills and set the glass on the nightstand.

  “Go back to the party, sweetheart. Laura will miss you soon.” Sarah smiled at her, and Grace saw that some light was coming back into her eyes.

  Grace nodded and moved reluctantly to the door. She paused there and looked back at Sarah. “We are going to talk about this.” Her voice was firm.

  “As soon as we can get a moment alone. As I recall, the Princess likes to sleep late on a Sunday.” Sarah tried to smile, but it turned to a grimace.

  Grace made to move back to the bed, but Sarah waved her away.

  “Go back to the party, please. It’ll pass.”

  Grace desperately wanted to know what it was, but she held her tongue.

  She closed the door behind her and went back downstairs. She stood at the back door and watched Laura, a little tipsy, dancing barefoot on the grass, and smiled even as a sense of dread clutched at her.

  * * *

  The party broke up around three in the morning. Grace and Laura waved off their guests and went back to survey the disaster that has been their garden.

  Jamie and Nick had insisted on staying behind to help out, but their help seemed to consist of seeing how far they could get their tongues down each other’s throats as they huddled together and made out like a couple of horny teenagers.

  Laura snickered. “Hey, guys, take it somewhere else, will you? You’re making me a little queasy here.”

  Grinning, Jamie pulled Nick up from the bench, making no attempt to hide the noticeable bulge in his jeans. Laura made a theatrical gagging sound.

  “And you can point that somewhere else.”

  Nick just snickered and shrugged at Jamie. “It’s always about the penis envy with dykes.”

  In spite of the emotions churning through her, Grace had to laugh at the strangled sound Laura made.

  Jamie took Nick’s hand and tugged him toward the door. “Come on, I think we should get out of here while we still have something worth envying. She’s packing scissors and she knows how to use them.”

  As they passed Laura said, “Two words, boys -- multiple orgasms.”

  The sound of laughter faded as Jamie and Nick moved through the house.

  Laura turned to Grace with a wicked smile when they heard the front door close behind their friends. “Alone at last, my darling.”

  “That is the worst English accent I’ve ever heard.”

  Laura pulled her close. “I’ll ignore that insult to my acting skills, because you still owe me a birthday present.”

  Eyes narrowing, Grace shot a warning look at her lover. “You come anywhere near me with rubber gloves and you’re sleeping on the couch, birthday or no birthday.”

  Laura feigned a very disappointed expression. “Okay, no rubber gloves.” She lowered her head and touched their mouths together. “We’ll save that for Christmas when we can get some holly.”

  Grace rolled her eyes. “Dear God, the mind boggles!”

  “Lets go upstairs and I’ll really boggle your mind.” Laura took her hand and led her into the house.

  Shaking her head in despair, Grace followed Laura up to their bedroom. As they passed the guest bedroom, Grace again felt a shiver of dread, but she determinedly pushed it aside. Tonight was Laura’s and nothing was going to spoil it.

  * * *

  Laura did indeed like to sleep in on a Sunday. This Sunday, after the rigors of the party and their own rather enthusiastic private celebration, Laura was still dead to the world, a mere bump under the comforter, when Grace left their room and went downstairs.r />
  From the kitchen window, she saw Sarah in the garden with a trash bag, picking up the mess left behind by their guests.

  Grace put on a pot of coffee and went out onto the porch.

  “Sarah, why don’t you come in and join me for a coffee?”

  Sarah looked at Grace, trepidation on her face. She looked quite a bit healthier than last night.

  “Please,” Grace added quietly.

  Nodding, Sarah let the bag fall onto the grass. She followed Grace into the kitchen and took a seat at the table while Grace poured coffee into two mugs, then joined her. Sarah wrapped her hands around the mug, her fingers tapping absently.

  “How sick are you?” Grace asked quietly. She was grateful that Sarah didn’t try to make any denials.

  “About as sick as it gets. The doc says I have maybe a month.” Her voice was matter-of-fact, like she’d had enough time to come to terms with the news.

  Grace sagged back in her chair in shock. “A month? But how... what?” Her first thought was how devastated Laura was going to be.

  Sarah took a sip of her coffee. “Cancer. With treatment, maybe two or three months.”

  It was hardly good news, but Grace seized on it none the less. “When do you begin treatment?”

  Sarah reached a hand across the table to touch Grace’s. “I don’t. I’ve spent the last year in hospitals having chemo, and the best it did was put the damn thing into remission for a while. No more hospitals. No more treatment. I don’t want the time I have left to be hooked up to machines with poison flowing through my veins.”

  “A year?” Grace leaned forward. “You’ve been having treatment for a year and you didn’t tell Laura? Why?”

  Sarah just smiled softly. “Because I didn’t want her to know. And I still don’t want her to know,” she finished pointedly.

  Grace shook her head vehemently. “You can’t keep this from her. She needs to know.”

  “Why?” Sarah raised an eyebrow. “So that she can start grieving now? There will be plenty of time for tears; I won’t make her shed one more than she has to.”

  Realization hit Grace. “You want me to keep it from her. You want me to lie to her.”

  “Not lie, just don’t tell her.” She looked at Grace with pleading eyes. “Please, Grace. Let her be happy for as long as possible.”

  Grace got up from the table and walked to the other side of the kitchen, running her fingers through her hair. “This isn’t fair, Sarah. You can’t ask me to keep something like this from Laura. How am I supposed to live with her with a secret like that between us?” But in spite of her words, Grace could already feel her resistance crumbling. This news was going to devastate Laura. Was Sarah so wrong in wanting to keep it from her for as long as possible? But how could Grace look at Laura every day, knowing...?

  Suddenly Sarah was standing in front of her. Grace hadn’t even heard her move.

  “Please, Grace.”

  Grace sighed and closed her eyes. She nodded her reluctant agreement, feeling as though she had just made some kind of deal with the devil.

  * * *

  On Monday afternoon, Grace stood in the train station watching Laura bid her farewell to Sarah.

  They had spent most of Sunday, after the big clean up, lounging around the house, talking, listening to music and pigging out on the leftover food from the party. Grace had gotten to know more about Sarah: her work, her travels, how she had given it up for years and gone into teaching when she became Laura’s guardian, and the more she heard, the more she liked Sarah. But at that moment, watching Laura hug her godmother for what was likely the last time, Grace could quite easily have hated the woman. Rationally, Grace knew that this was probably one of the hardest, saddest moments of Sarah’s life, but Grace found it difficult to be rational knowing that in a few short weeks her lover was going to have to suffer through getting the news that the only mother she had ever really known had died alone in some hospice -- knowing that, for the next few weeks, she, Grace, would have to face Laura with this horrible secret between them.

  When Sarah hugged her, she whispered in Grace’s ear, “I couldn’t have wished for anyone better for my girl. Take good care of her for me.”

  Grace returned the hug and felt tears sting her eyes. “Thank you for your blessing and for making her what she is.”

  Sarah squeezed Grace tightly before stepping back. She took her case, and with one last brief hug for Laura, she made her way along the platform to the train.

  They stayed until the train had pulled out and disappeared from sight. Grace heard Laura sigh. She took Laura’s hand and squeezed it.

  “Come on, baby, let’s go home.”

  Laura looked at her in surprise. “Don’t you have to go into the store?”

  “Jamie can hold down the fort today.” She linked her arm through Laura’s and led her out of the station to the parking lot.

  When they were in the car Grace turned to Laura and smiled. “We have the house to ourselves.”

  Laura’s grin was downright lecherous. “We don’t have to be quiet.”

  “Oh, I don’t know, I think there was something kinda erotic about making love in silence.” In spite of it all, Grace could feel her body start to tingle.

  “So what are we waiting for?” Laura waved her hand in the direction of the ignition. “Drive, woman!”

  * * *

  In the days and weeks that followed, Grace’s anxiety rose almost hourly. Every mail delivery or ring of the telephone set her nerves on edge. She found herself being more solicitous than normal with Laura: sending flowers to the salon, turning up out of the blue to take her to lunch, buying her little gifts of Godiva chocolates and CDs. She even got as far as going to a travel agent to book a week in the Bahamas for them, but the only thing that stopped her was the idea that they might miss the phone call.

  If Laura felt smothered by Grace’s attention, then she said nothing -- although she did express some curiosity, which Grace explained away by asking if it was wrong to spoil her lover.

  Grace knew, of course, that every gift, every surprise was an attempt to assuage her own guilt. She also knew that no amount of chocolate was going to do that, but it didn’t stop her.

  There was a kind of desperation to their love-making. Grace was so determined to make it good for Laura that she ignored her own needs. Laura, even though she didn’t understand why, refused to allow this, and it became something of a battle for dominance. It added an edge to their sex-life that had never been there before -- and not an altogether pleasant one.

  Grace was strung so tight that she thought there were moments when she might actually break. The need to confide in someone was like a physical pain, but Grace found that she couldn’t. It felt like it would be the ultimate betrayal of Laura.

  When the call finally came, three long weeks after Sarah’s departure, there was almost a sense of relief for Grace.

  But any relief she felt vanished in a heartbeat when she saw Laura, who had answered the call, slide to the floor, turn as pale as a ghost and stare in stunned silence into the air.

  Grace took the phone from her, quickly finished the call with the nurse and then sat beside Laura on the floor and held her tight.

  It was only that night, when they were lying in bed, that Laura finally broke down. Grace could only hold her as sobs racked her slender body, her own pain a cold hand around her heart.

  Had Sarah been wrong to want to put off Laura’s terrible grief for as long as possible?

  Grace stroked Laura’s hair back from her tear-bathed face. “I’m so sorry, baby,” she whispered, feeling useless in the face of such pain.

  “W-why didn’t she tell me? She must have known. She must have.”

  Guilt clawed at Grace. “She didn’t want you to hurt any more than you absolutely had to.”

  Laura burrowed closer into Grace, her sobs receding until they were loud hiccups.

  “She loved you so much.”

  It must have been somet
hing in Grace’s voice that alerted Laura. Her body suddenly became stiff and motionless; she even seemed to stop breathing.

  When she raised her head and looked at Grace, it seemed to confirm her budding suspicions.

  “You knew.” Her voice was flat, stunned.

  “Laura...” But Grace got no further. Laura leapt out of the bed with almost unnatural speed. She looked at Grace with wide, accusing eyes.

  “Oh, God. You knew.”

  Grace threw back the comforter and got out of bed. “Laura...” she tried again, moving to her lover, holding out her hands. But Laura knocked her hands away as anger glared hotly in her eyes and her body became so tense it almost shook.

  “Don’t touch me,” Laura spat out. “I can’t believe you kept something this huge from me... I just... how?” Grace suspected that the tears on Laura’s cheeks now were more from anger than grief.

  “She practically begged me, baby. Please try to understand,” Grace implored, trying again to get close to Laura, but again Laura stepped back out of her reach.

  “Understand? Understand what, baby?” She practically spat the word and Grace flinched. “Shall I tell you what I understand? I understand that you robbed me of the last three weeks of my mother’s life. You robbed me of a proper goodbye. I should have been there with her, at the end. But because of you, I wasn’t. Because of you, she died alone.” Laura’s words ended on a ragged sob.

  Grace wanted to plead her case, to tell Laura that if anyone had denied her then it was Sarah, but she knew that laying any blame at Sarah’s door right then would be monumentally wrong. Not to mention stupid.

  “I don’t think she wanted you to see her like that, remember her like that,” Grace reasoned quietly.

  Laura spun away, the movement jerky with agitation. “You shouldn’t have done it, Grace.” Her voice was soft, giving Grace some hope that she was getting through even a little.

  But when she turned back to Grace, her gray eyes were cold. “I’ll never forgive you for this.” It was somehow more ominous spoken quietly than it would have been if Laura had screamed the words.

  Grace watched with rising panic as Laura pulled on jeans and a sweater, slipped her bare feet into a pair of sneakers and went to the closet, where she took out a bag and began stuffing clothes into it haphazardly.