The Holidate Season
Copyright © 2022
Vi Keeland & Penelope Ward, Jewel E. Ann, Sarina Bowen, Katee Robert, Melanie Harlow, Pippa Grant
All Rights Reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Formatting: Elaine York, Allusion Publishing
THE HOLIDATE SEASON
Get Sleighed by Vi Keeland & Penelope Ward
When my ex dumped me right before Christmas, I was left with a luxury, all-expense paid trip for two to Cabo—private jet and all. Somehow, my best friend roped me into giving away the other half of the trip as a contest prize on her podcast. Kelly won the “World’s Worst Dump Story.” She and I didn’t meet until we arrived at the airport, which was when I discovered she was actually a he. Apparently we’d forgotten to include open to women only in the rules. My trip to Cabo started as a disaster, but as time went on Kelly and I grew close. Until someone unexpectedly showed up…
Christmas in Birdville by Jewel E. Ann
Henry Bechtel’s mom is coming home for Christmas. Only, he lost the family house in a game of poker. Days before his mom’s arrival, he meets the new owner and seizes the opportunity to coerce her into letting him move back “home” for the holidays. What he doesn’t know is that she has questionable motives, too.
The Lucky One by Sarina Bowen
Finnish hockey player Ivo Halla is new in town. He can't speak the language, he can't understand the coach. Life is hell until he walks into an Italian cafe (thank God "pizza" is the same in Finnish and English) and falls for the waitress. He'd better learn the language soon, or she won't agree to date him...
First Holiday by Katee Robert
After a year of turmoil, Hades and Persephone prepare for their first holiday together.
A Cloverleigh Farms Christmas by Melanie Harlow
Christmas Eve at Cloverleigh Farms is even more exciting this year, thanks to a blizzard, a power outage, and a baby that wants to make a dramatic entrance. Catch up with the beloved Sawyer family and find out what happens when Meg and Noah's bundle of joy gives the family a wonderful--and sudden--reason to celebrate!
Have Yourself a Grumpy Little Christmas by Pippa Grant
Trevor Stafford hates Christmas. But his best friend’s little sister, whom he stupidly agreed to take in as a temporary roommate when she got a new nannying gig down the street from him, loves it.
She’s turning his house into a freaking winter wonderland of bad memories.
But the bigger problem?
He’s had a crush on her for years, and there’s no amount of annoying holiday cheer that can cure him of his attraction. If anything, watching her in her natural element is making it worse.
What’s a grump to do when the last thing he ever wanted is suddenly the only thing he needs?
GET SLEIGHED BY VI KEELAND & PENELOPE WARD
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
About the Authors
Want More?
CHRISTMAS IN BIRDVILLE BY JEWEL E. ANN
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Also by Jewel E. Ann
About the Author
THE LUCKY ONE BY SARINA BOWEN
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
FIRST HOLIDAY BY KATEE ROBERT
Chapter 1
A CLOVERLEIGH FARMS CHRISTMAS BY MELANIE HARLOW
A Note from the Author
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Other Books by Melanie Harlow
About the Author
HAVE YOURSELF A GRUMPY LITTLE CHRISTMAS BY PIPPA GRANT
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Epilogue
Dear Readers
More from Pippa Grant
About the Author
SARAH
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
My best friend, Jane, had been calling every day since my breakup, trying to get me to go out. But I just wasn’t ready yet.
“Anything that doesn’t involve men,” I said. “I’m pretty sure I’ve developed an allergy.”
“This is most definitely a man-free activity. Can you be at the recording studio at nine?”
“Where are we going?”
“Nowhere. My guest for tomorrow just canceled. I need you to fill in.”
Jane was the host of a hugely successful podcast called Fun with Dick and Jane. There wasn’t actually a cohost named Dick. The title referred to the subject matter of the show—dating dicks. I’d been a guest a few times before.
“I don’t know how much fun I’ll be. What’s the topic?”
“Well, my guest was supposed to be Cheri Lord, the woman who just wrapped that reality TV show where your exes get to pick who you should date. Did you see it?”
“No, I didn’t, but I saw it advertised.”
“You have to watch it. It was a shit show. She cheated on most of her exes, so they all picked serial cheaters and assholes. Anyway, tomorrow’s show was billed as ‘The Ex Factor – learning from your mistakes.’ So you’ll be perfect.”
I sighed. “Will you come with me to Cabo the day after Christmas if I do it?”
“You know I wish I could. I’ve never been on a private plane before. But the show has me doing appearances in New York since I’m going to my parents’ for Christmas. Trust me, I would much rather be on your fancy vacation than doing that. Every time they make me do these dumb things, at least one creepy guy shows up and just stares at me from the back of the room as I talk. And there’s always an old biddy who raises her hand like she wants to ask a question, but then lectures me on improving my language or acting more like a lady on the show. Did you ask Emily if she can go?”
“She’s going to Virginia to meet the parents of that new guy she’s dating.”
I really didn’t want to go to Mexico alone, but I also wasn’t giving up the amazing trip my ex had bought me for my thirtieth birthday last month—an all-expense-paid vacation for two to Cabo San Lucas, on a private jet with a stay at a five-star hotel that I could never afford, even if I flew coach. When Trent had dumped me two weeks ago, telling me he’d fallen for his nineteen-year-old assistant, he’d suggested I take a friend. I was pretty certain the idiot hadn’t paid for the trip anyway, probably just put it on his daddy’s black card, like everything else in his spoiled life. Whatever. I’m not bitter or anything…
“So will you be tomorrow’s guest? Pleeeeease.”
I really didn’t feel like it, but Jane was always there for me. “Sure, no problem.”
“Awesome. I’ll bring Bloody Marys for breakfast.”
The next morning, I arrived at the recording studio a few minutes before nine. Jane kissed my cheek and handed me a cocktail with celery
, bacon, and olives sticking out. “Think you can come up with five signs that the new guy you just met is destined to be your ex?” she asked.
I snort laughed. “If I could, I probably wouldn’t still be single.”
Jane waved me off. “Just make up something that sounds clinical. You’re good at sounding smart.”
I polished off the last of my Bloody Mary during the ten-second countdown before we were live. Jane opened the show with her usual taglines, and then did a plug for one of her sponsors before introducing me.
“Ladies, I have a treat for you today! The one and only Sarah McGraw is here to discuss all our screwed-up relationships. If you’re a new listener and haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Sarah yet, let me give you the lowdown. Sarah is a graduate of Brown University—summa cum laude, because she’s no slouch. She holds a PhD in clinical psychology and is a practicing marriage counselor right here in sunny Los Angeles. More importantly, she’s been my best friend since we were four years old and was the only person to warn me not to date Tommy Finnegan in high school, even though I did it anyway, and he dumped me a half hour after he took my virginity. So please give a warm Fun with Dick and Jane welcome to Sarah as she helps us see the warning flags about the men we meet before we open up our hearts and wallets to them!”
I smiled and spoke into the microphone. “Wow, that’s some introduction. Thank you. Tommy Finnegan, huh? That’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.”
Jane laughed. “He was so damn good looking. Tommy, if you’re out there listening—or if any of our listeners know a Tommy Finnegan who graduated from Carnegie High in New York in 2010—I’d love to see a photo of him now.”
I shook my head. “Oh my God. People, please do not send her a photo, especially if he’s still good looking. She’s a sucker for guys with dimples.”
Jane sighed. “That I am, Sarah. That I am. But as long as we’re on the topic, I think Tommy is as good a place as any to start today. You warned me not to go out with him, so I’m guessing you saw a red flag before I did.”
“Uh…yeah. He’d dated half the school. His nickname was Fuck Me Finnegan. And he took you to see a porno on your first date.”
“Hey, don’t knock it. I learned a lot of useful tricks from that movie.”
I laughed. I’d forgotten what a good time Jane and I had on the air. It was pretty much a comedy show for the next forty-five minutes as we talked about Jane’s past relationships and the red flags she should have seen, but didn’t. After, she opened up the call-in line for questions, and the fun continued.
“Hi, Jane. Hi, Sarah. My name is Megan.”
“Hi, Meg!” we said in unison.
“Jane, I just wanted to call in and tell you that Tommy Finnegan breaking up with you a half hour after sex is not the worst breakup. I have the worst story. My ex, Jason, dumped me while he was still inside me.”
My eyes widened. “Oh my.”
“That’s not the worst part,” the caller said. “He also told me he had cancer. He said he didn’t know how much time he had left and wanted to be free.”
I held my hand over my heart. “Holy crap. He really had cancer?”
“No! The bastard freaking lied.”
“Jesus,” Jane gasped. “That might be the worst breakup story I’ve ever heard.”
“Sadly, I’m still struggling to get over him. This just happened a month ago. So I wanted to ask Sarah if she has any advice on getting over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.”
Jane looked at me and smirked. “You go solo to Cabo and sleep with the hottest guy you find?”
I chuckled. “Not happening.”
The next few calls were women sharing their horrible breakup stories. One had been dumped at her father’s wake, and another said she went to work on a Tuesday morning and her boyfriend moved his stuff out of her house and into the next-door neighbor’s. Apparently he’d been sleeping with her for a while. Holy crap, by the time we took a sponsor break, there were more women waiting on hold to share their stories than time left on Jane’s show.
She took off her headphones for the short break. “I have a crazy idea…”
“Oh no—I’m not going to get locked out of a window on the thirty-second floor trying to spy on a guy you went on one date with again, am I?”
“No, this is better. Why don’t we run a contest on my show: worst dump story ever. The winner gets to go to Cabo with you!”
I shook my head. “I don’t know…sharing a hotel with a stranger?”
“We go out with men we meet on dating apps. Sharing the penthouse suite of a luxury hotel with a woman is a lot less scary. Plus, you said it had two bedrooms, right? So it’s not like you’d be sharing a mattress. I bet I could get one of my sponsors to cover the cost of the winner’s trip. It would be a win-win. You’d have a single woman to travel with and a big fat check from one of my sponsors!”
“I don’t think so…”
“Don’t say no until I hit up my sponsors and see what they’re willing to pay, okay? Let’s see what we’re talking about…”
In a matter of just a few minutes, Jane ended up getting more sponsorship for the contest than she knew what to do with. And now I was officially roped into this.
The podcast was also flooded with so many emails that the staff couldn’t keep up with sifting through them. The contest was dubbed “Christmas in Cabo,” since the winner and I would be leaving the morning after Christmas.
A week had passed, and today was the big day where we were going to announce the winner live on the air after reading the top three selections. The show had posted ten finalists previously on their website so that listeners could vote for the top three online.
I sat in my seat across from Jane in the studio, anxiously awaiting the results. Not like I was going to meet the winner today, but I was still nervous.
“Okay, folks…” Jane announced. “It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. After hundreds of astoundingly horrible—but oh so good—dump stories were submitted, we were able to narrow it down to three. Are you ready, Sarah?”
I pretended to be more excited than I was. “I’m super stoked, yeah. I can’t wait to see which one the listeners chose. I have to say, they all have my own dump story beat.”
“Okay, without further ado, let’s get to it. The second runner-up submission as chosen by our listeners is—drumroll, please!” The sound tech played a rolling drum sound effect as Jane said, “Kate from Irvine! Kate wrote in: ‘You could say I was indirectly dumped. My friend was on Tinder and matched with my boyfriend at the time. Not only was he on the dating app, actively cheating on me, but he’d used a photo of the two of us as his profile picture and cut most of me out of it.’”
I cringed and spoke into the mic. “Kate, you are so much better off without him.”
Jane continued, “Kate, while you were not the winning submission, we will be sending you a consolation package that will include a Fun with Dick and Jane T-shirt and matching beer koozie.”
“Oooh, I want a beer koozie!” I joked.
“We’ll hook you up, too, Sarah.” Jane laughed. “Okay, now to our next finalist. The dump story our listeners chose as the first runner-up was submitted by Leela from Riverside, who wrote: ‘My father unexpectedly passed away last year. After the burial, my boyfriend texted me that my dad’s death had taught him that life was short. He no longer felt it would be fair to string me along when he wasn’t in love with me. So not only did I lose my dad, I also lost my boyfriend in the same week. Oh, and my dad had left my ex an expensive watch in his will, thinking he would be my husband sometime soon, and the idiot demanded we actually give it to him.’”
“Oh, Leela. What a jerk,” I said into the mic.
“Leela, while you totally deserve a trip to Cabo after dealing with that insensitive loser, again, you are our first runner-up. But the good news is, our producers will be sending you a Fun with Dick and Jane self-care package that includes wine, chocolate, and the best in
beauty care, thanks to our sponsors. Thank you so much for participating, Leela!”
I spoke into the mic. “Enjoy, Leela!”
“And now for the moment we’ve all been waiting for.” Jane paused. “The winner of the 2022 Christmas in Cabo contest. It was a tough one. But this person’s dump story seemed to resonate with our listeners the most. Kelly from Burbank. Kelly wrote in with a story that made our blood boil. Kelly writes: ‘A few years ago I was dating someone I also worked with, who gave me the impression that they were trustworthy. I told this person about a concept for a unique product I’d come up with. I shouldn’t have. Because, not soon after, I was suddenly dumped, and the company we both worked for introduced plans for a new product. It was exactly what I’d shared with the snake who dumped me, down to every last detail. The company went on to make millions off this device, and I got no credit for it, because I’d never patented anything. My ex, however, was promoted.’” Jane paused. “So, Kelly…”
The sound tech introduced some celebratory music.
“Our hearts break for the betrayal you endured. We believe you deserve to take your mind off things for a while. You, my friend, have won the trip to Cabo San Lucas with my girl, Sarah! A limo will pick you up and take you to the airport where you and Sarah will fly via private jet to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, the morning after Christmas. Should you decide for any reason not to accept this grand prize, the trip will go to our first runner-up, Leela from Riverside. Our producers have all of your information and will contact you via the email you provided to make the arrangements. A huge congratulations, Kelly! You deserve it after all that!”
“Yay, Kelly!” I clapped, but inside I was beginning to wonder what the hell I’d gotten myself into.
I ended up skipping Christmas with my family this year. With the Cabo trip coming up, it would’ve been too much to fly to New York and then get back here the next day to catch my plane. And admittedly, there was another reason I was avoiding it: I would’ve had to endure their questions about my current dating life, and worse, rehash the story of what happened with my ex to those who had no idea we’d even broken up.