Beer Goggles Anthology

  BEER GOGGLES

  Anthology

  BEER GOGGLESAnthology

  Copyright © 2017. All rights reserved.

  First Print Edition: April 2017

  Limitless Publishing, LLC

  Kailua, HI 96734

  www.limitlesspublishing.com

  Formatting: Limitless Publishing

  ISBN-13: 978-1-64034-041-1

  ISBN-10: 1-64034-041-6

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Beauty and the Brown Noser

  Evan Grace

  The List

  Alyson Santos

  Not With You

  d. Nichole King

  Oh, Sh!t

  Lacey Black

  Oh Tequila

  CA Harms

  Sex, Alcohol, and My Neighbor

  Terri E. Laine

  Shenanigans

  Chelsea Camaron

  Strike Out

  Jennifer Miller

  Tattooed Redemption

  Alicia Rae

  Ten Too Many

  A.M. Hargrove

  Test Me

  Molly Mclain

  The Guy in 3C

  Cheryl McIntyre

  Toasted

  Shantel Tessier

  Vikings

  Sunniva Dee

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  Beauty and the Brown Noser

  By Evan Grace

  Chapter One

  Brenna

  Boy, where do I start? How about I give you a little of my history? My name is Brenna James, I’m twenty-six years old, and all of my life I’ve heard how beautiful I am. No, I’m not conceited—I’m just lucky and have incredible genes. My mom was a beauty just like me up until the day she took her last breath. I was twelve when breast cancer ripped her from my dad, my baby brother Ethan, and me. Without even needing to be asked, I took on the role of mother/caretaker for both my dad and my brother.

  When I was fourteen, my dad took me to school for my parent/teacher conference and that’s where he met and fell in love with my step-mom, or “Mom squared” as I call her. Tricia was my English teacher, and when she and my dad met, sparks flew. Of course he denied it and so did she, seeing as I was her student and all, but I wanted to see my dad happy again. I love my mom and always will, but she’d want that for my dad.

  After some conniving and “acting out” on my part, they finally got together and a year later they were married. A year after that, my baby sister Julia was born, and after another year Hank came along. Dad put the kibosh on any more kids after that, but Tricia was happy with her family of six. She didn’t try to become our mom, but as time passed Ethan and I both grew to love her like our dad did, so it was an easy transition.

  Tricia is my biggest cheerleader and the reason I went to school to become a teacher. She sobbed the day of my college graduation and the day I got hired for my first real teaching job, which leads us to now.

  I’ve taught at Harrison Elementary School in my hometown of Reynolds, Iowa, for four years. I teach fifth grade along with Mr. Declan Browning, or as I like to refer to him as, “Mr. Dickhead Brown Noser.” He started right around the same time I did, but where I was a fresh college graduate, he had transferred from a school that was closing. At first I thought he was super cute in an almost nerdish way, or that hipster look that I just don’t get, but then we spoke and immediately I hated him. He’s the most condescending man I’ve ever met, and if he corrects me one more time, I may bash his head into my chalkboard.

  There always seems to be that one person who has done everything you have and better, knows everything about every subject, and is so far up the boss’s ass that it’s a wonder Principal Litchfield can even walk. Declan volunteers for everything before anyone even gets a chance to. The worst was when I had taken on the task of the rummage sale at the beginning of my second year there and he completely took over and shut me out. And he took all the praise for it like he did it himself…Prick!

  Tonight is our work Christmas party, or “Holiday party” if I want to be PC. It’s at one of my favorite bar/nightclubs. The school went all out this year and rented out a room for us, and there’s going to be food and prizes. I usually go and hang out for a bit before heading home to my cat, Spot. Yes, real original.

  If I’m being completely honest, tonight I’m looking for a man. It’s been two years since my last boyfriend, and I think cobwebs are starting to form down there and maybe my hymen grew back. Usually masturbation will alleviate the need, but I miss the feel of a man’s hands and mouth on me and being filled with a nice cock. Yes, my looks help, but they also seem to attract the douche-bags who only think I’m a walking, talking vagina.

  They don’t want to hear that I graduated with honors from Michigan State, but I’m much more than a pretty face. Ever since I could remember, my mom always drilled that into me: “Brenna, be more than what they see on the outside.” That’s always what I’ve strived for. I may be a pretty face, but I’m smart as hell.

  A knock on my front door pulls me from my thoughts. “Bren?” It’s Tricia, and judging by the sound of pounding feet, my sister Julia is with her. Tricia was dying to help me get ready for the party tonight, so who am I to deny her?

  “Sissy!” Julia wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me tight. She’s a shorty like her mom, where I’m five-foot-nine thanks to my mom and dad.

  “Hey, little sissy, how was your day?” Julia flops down on my bed just as Tricia comes into my room.

  “Hey, honey. You ready for the party tonight?” She’s carrying a makeup case and another bag.

  “Yeah, it should be fun. I just hope that you-know-who doesn’t show up.” Tricia and my dad have heard a lot about Declan and his “I’m better than you” attitude. I’m also sure that they’re tired of hearing about him because yes, I do talk about him frequently, but what else am I supposed to do? The man’s purpose in life is to make me miserable.

  “Well, you said that he never comes to the parties or cocktail hours you all have, so maybe you’ll get lucky. Show me what you’re wearing.”

  I go to my closet and pull out the dress. It’s a red wrap dress that hits me right above my knees. The sleeves are three-quarter length and the front shows a decent amount of cleavage. It skims my curves beautifully and is exactly what I’m going for if I decide to pick up a man tonight. Of course I won’t tell Mom squared that. “What do you think? I thought I’d wear my black sling backs with it and gold jewelry.”

  “I love it, and with your figure you’ll look phenomenal. Are there going to be any single men there tonight?” Tricia has tried to play matchmaker, but so far they’ve all been duds.

  “Well unless they hired staff I don’t know, then not really, or at least not any that I’m interested in.” Tricia’s face falls and all I can do is look at my baby sister and shake my head.

  Her giggle has me tackling her on the bed and hugging her tight. “Next weekend you, me, pizza, and movies…what do you say?” I try to spend as much time with my younger siblings as I can, especially since Ethan is in the Army and stationed in California.

  “Awesome! Can we get mani/pedis too?” Julia loves getting her nails done and I’m always happy to accommodate.<
br />
  “Well duh…of course we can.” I kiss the top of her head before climbing off the bed.

  Tricia grabs my hand and pulls me toward the chair in front of my vanity. “I want to put rollers in your hair.”

  One thing about me: I’m a tomboy. I don’t really wear makeup and don’t really know how to do my hair. Yes, I have a vanity, but it was my mom’s and Dad kept it in our attic until I moved into my own place.

  We make small talk while she rolls my golden blonde hair up into huge rollers. While my hair sets, she helps give my lightly tanned skin a dewy glow and my green eyes a light smoky look that makes them look more emerald. She tries to swipe red lipstick on my lips, but I put my foot down and she settles on a nude lip gloss.

  Once my makeup is done, she removes the rollers and shakes my hair out while spraying it with hair spray. Ugh, this will be fun later when I’m brushing my hair out. As I look in the mirror though, I know it’ll be worth it. My hair hangs down around my shoulders in loose waves. Naturally my hair is stick straight and Tricia’s the only one who can seem to curl my hair and get it to stay.

  “Wow,” I whisper.

  She places her hands on my shoulders. “You are stunning. You’re going to catch someone’s eye tonight. We’ll wait in the other room while you get changed.”

  Julia shuts the door behind her and I slip off my robe. The other day I decided to treat myself to some sexy lingerie. The champagne-colored silk bra and panty set cost me a pretty penny. I slip the panties on and they hug my ass cheeks, sitting low on my hips. The bra pushes up full C-cup breasts and hopefully they’ll look good as a man peels my underwear off later. I slip on my dress and tie the belt at my hip. Yes, I may be pretty, but I’ve never seen myself look like this: Sexy. Confident.

  After slipping on my heels, I spray some perfume and then walk through the spray like my mom used to do before grabbing my handbag and heading out into my living room.

  “Sissy, you look beautiful,” Julia says with a huge smile on her face.

  “Thanks, girlie. Your mom worked her magic.”

  Tricia wraps her arms around my waist. “It’s easy when you have a beautiful canvas. We’re going to get out of your hair. Have fun tonight and be safe.” I kiss her cheek and hug her tight before turning to Julia.

  “I’ll call you this week so we can discuss nail polish colors and what movie we’re going to watch.” I promise to call Tricia tomorrow to tell her how my night was. Of course I’ll be leaving it out if I go home with someone. I’m just ready for a fun night with co-workers I love, and before I walk out my door, I say a little prayer that Mr. Dickhead Brown Noser decides not to come.

  Chapter Two

  I pull into the parking lot of Excess, the nightclub where the party is being held. I park my car and check myself in the mirror one more time before climbing out. It’s unseasonably warm but there is still a nip in the air, so I hustle as fast as I can in my high heels into the club. I was surprised that they chose this place, but we don’t have that many great options to choose from in the area. Most of us are in our forties or younger, anyway, so it’s not such a big deal if we let loose a little.

  Inside, there are a few people sitting at the bar, the dance floor’s empty, and the music playing is soft. I stop at the end of the bar and the bartender comes up, flashing me a smile I’m sure gets him lots of action. “Can I help you, darlin’?” God, even his voice is sexy. Fuck, I’m horny.

  “My work holiday party is here.”

  “Yeah sure, it’s down that hall.” I thank him and as I get closer, I can hear music and laughing.

  “Brenna, you’re here!” Moira, who teaches second grade and is also one of my best friends, comes rushing towards me. “You look gorgeous. I love your hair. Did Tricia do it?” She knows I’m challenged when it comes to that kind of stuff.

  “Of course she did. You know the best I can do is braid it.” I take off my coat and hang it up in the closet just outside of the room. She winds her arm through mine and we head inside.

  Standing together, we’re as different as night and day. Where I’m tall with subtle curves, blonde hair, tanned skin, and green eyes, she’s short with generous curves that she rocks, auburn hair, porcelain skin, and vibrant blue eyes. Her husband is also a teacher, but he’s at the high school and also coaches football. They’re the cutest couple ever and have the three most adorable kids I’ve ever seen.

  I make my way around the room, greeting everyone and making small talk before excusing myself to get a drink. I’ve already decided that even if I don’t go home with someone, I’ll be getting an Uber when it’s time to leave.

  I grab my gin and tonic and pass by where the food is getting set up. They had the party catered by one of my favorite Italian restaurants. Rumor has it that Mr. Litchfield and Vice Principal Roberts paid for most of the party out of their own pockets. I love my school.

  I grab my seat after giving Moira’s husband, Mark, a quick hug and take a fortifying sip of my drink. We make chitchat as co-workers come over to say hi. Moira’s husband takes a couple of pictures of us and then they show me the pictures they just had done of the kids. Mark is tall, tanned, blond, and built. Their kids are the perfect combination of them. Moira told me just last week that Mark wants one more and soon, even though their youngest is only a little over a year old.

  She’ll give him one, though. They’re the definition of relationship goals—they were high school sweethearts and got married young, and now they’re twenty-eight and still happy. Yes, they fight and Moira says that Mark is kind of a slob, but their love negates all of that. She’s told me on numerous occasions what a great dad he is and also that he’s amazing in bed. I just love that if they’re standing next to each other they’re always touching, holding hands, or hugging. It’s like they can’t stand to be away from each other.

  I’m jealous for sure, but sublimely happy that my friend has that. The clinking of a glass pulls our attention to where our principal is standing.

  “Welcome, everyone. We’re so happy you all could spend this evening with us. The food is being set up now, so first things first, we’ll eat. Throughout the night, we’re going to be drawing names out of a hat for different door prizes provided by individual teachers or groups. Thank you, all who donated. One more thing: Please be smart tonight, and if you’re too drunk to drive, I and a few other teachers have offered to take people home if needed. From the bottom of our hearts, I just want to thank you all for the difference you make every day. You’re all why I love what I do. Have fun tonight, but not too much fun.”

  We all clap and then raise our glasses. Mark helps Moira up and then pulls my chair out for me. The three of us make our way over to the food.

  I pile a little bit of everything onto my plate, and on my way back to the table, I spot him. Dickhead Brown Noser steps into the room, and why the fuck does he have to look good tonight? His dark brown hair is perfectly styled; his brown eyes are highlighted by thick eyelashes. His nose is straight and he’s got full lips perfect for kissing. He’s wearing black pants with a white button-up shirt tucked into them, and the white shows off his lightly tanned skin. How have I never noticed his body before…wait, what am I saying? I don’t want to notice shit!

  I take my seat and feel Moira kick me under the table, but before I can say anything, I feel someone stop right behind me. “Hey, Moira, Mark. How are you?”

  “I’m good, Deck. Join us.”

  Ugh. I don’t look up from my plate, but out of the corner of my eye I see him pull out the chair next to mine, even though there are plenty more at our table that are empty. “Brenna,” he murmurs. “You look beautiful.” My fork freezes halfway to my mouth because he’s never complimented me on anything…ever.

  “Thank you, Declan.” He turns to Mark and they start talking, leaving me to look at Moira with wide eyes. She just shrugs her shoulders. I finish my food and am in desperate need of another drink. As I push my chair back to stand up, Declan turns to me. “I�
�m getting a drink,” I say. “Does anyone want anything?” Moira and Mark both say no, but Declan stands up and tells me he’s coming with me…whatever.

  What surprises me the most is his hand on the small of my back, leading me through the throng of people toward the bar. People stop us to talk to either him or me, and his hand doesn’t move from my back, garnering strange looks from everyone. Most of our co-workers know that there is no love between us at all.

  When I step up to the bar, I order my gin and tonic and Declan orders a beer. He looks at me. “Shot?”

  “Sure, what the heck.” I look at the bartender. “Patrón, please.”

  “You’ve got it, gorgeous.” He winks before turning to grab the bottle off the shelf. The bartender asks Declan what he wants and he orders the same, so he pours us both a healthy dose. Before I can pay, Declan is sliding his card across the bar top.

  “I’ll start a tab, thanks.” He picks up both glasses and hands me my shot. “Merry Christmas, Brenna.” We clink glasses and then swallow the tequila down. I welcome the burn because I feel like I’m in The Twilight Zone right now.

  “Merry Christmas, Declan.” I grab my gin and tonic from the bar and again with a hand to the small of my back, he leads me back to our table. A few others have joined us.

  As the alcohol flows and people begin to mingle, our table starts to fill up. Soon I’m so close to dickhead that I might as well sit in his lap. His leg brushes against mine and I swear to God my nipples get hard. It’s got to be the alcohol, or maybe the lack thereof. I grab my drink and suck it down. Maybe it’s just because I need sex and my body is just confused.

  I sit back in my chair and freeze. Declan’s arm is draped over the back of my chair.

  I look at him with what I know is a “what the fuck are you doing?” look, but of course he doesn’t see it because he’s talking to one of our teacher’s aides. Kelly is girly with a capital G, and if she was any more obvious about her attraction to Declan, she’d be humping his leg. Why do I even care? Nope, I don’t care. Not…at…all. I stand up and weave my way through the crowd.